World Cup, IPAs and Maria Sharapova

The easy part about handicapping the World Cup is picking the two teams which will advance out of each pool. I don't need beer for that. Where my IPAs come in is in selecting the winners head-to-head as we march to the July 13 Final.

Especially as the first match on the horizon in the second round (thanks to the Dutch winning Pool B) is a real cracker: Brazil vs Spain. This game could be the final - it was four years ago - but instead it's a Round of 16 game where either the host nation and heavy favourite Brazil, or the defending champion and number one ranked Spain, goes home.

Except in the case of Brazil, they'd already be home if they lost but they sure wouldn't want to be. Many tragedies would occur if Brazil bowed out in the Round of 16 so ... they won't. Despite my Mom and Dad bringing me back a Spain hat from their latest halfway-round-the-world cruise, Brazil and its Stone/Bodebrown Cacau IPA prevail, 3-1.

Up next is Colombia and Italy and the IPAs are calling for an Italian victory, 2-0. After all, Colombia advanced out of the first round despite having zero IPAs of note. So their run to glory ends here.

The Dutch, meanwhile, use their twin Imperials from De Molen Breweries to coast past the Mexicans (though my pal Don did remind me that I did try a Mexican IPA when I was in Florida) 2-0.

England, with its great brewing history, also advances to the quarter-finals with a 1-0 victory over Japan, while an IPA-less match between Honduras and Nigeria results in the Central Americans producing a small upset, 2-1 in extra time.

While the beers and I were mulling over the next match-up I immediately got distracted by the picture below. See, I am a big fan of young Genie Bouchard and when Maria Sharapova took out the Montrealer in the French Open semi-finals I was a little sad. Then I saw this picture of Sharapova posing with her trophy in front of the Eiffel Tower and, well, all was right in the world.

Russia versus United States. Sharapova's homeland against her adopted home country. A nation with no IPAs of note against a country that produces more quality India Pale Ales than any other. America wins 2-1.

In a match that is all about soccer - seriously, France; you can do better than two IPAs rated over 90 - the powerful Argentines blank Les Bleus 2-0.

Finally, we have little Belgium against Germany, the King of the Beer World and the second choice at this World Cup. For this match I needed to do some serious research that went beyond IPAs, so I decided on a Wheat Beer Challenge.

I tried an Orange Weisse from Amsterdam, a Flemish-style wheat beer; and Stereovision American Kristall Wheat from Flying Monkeys; to represent the Germans. Hoegaarden, a Belgian White Ale (from Belgium no less) and Mill Street's Wit were called on to do the honours for Belgium.

It was no contest. Orange Weisse and Stereovision were both nice, refreshing patio beers. But Hoegaarden, and to a lesser extent Mill Street Wit, were outstanding. Both had citrusy aromas and had lemon and spices on the tongue, with a bit of character on the finish.

Belgium, in an epic upset, sends the Germans packing 3-2.

The quarter-finals kick off with little Honduras - the team that embarrassed us 8-1 in qualifying last year - taking on the U.S. It seems 50 beers rated at a perfect 100 on Rate Beer (and TFC's Michael Bradley) was easily enough to double up the upstarts, 4-2.

Italy's run ends in this round (sorry Santo) as the host Brazilians get a late goal to win 1-0.

Belgium, meanwhile, continues its magical run by beating Argentina in another major upset, 2-1 in extra time. England joins Argentina on the sidelines when they lose to the Netherlands, 3-2.

That takes us to the final four and this is where the IPA analytics break down. The world's greatest and most passionate soccer nation takes on the land of Pliny the Younger and Heady Topper and soccer wins? What's up with that? Anyway, Brazil is off to the final after blanking the Americans 2-0.

The other semi-final has the Netherlands squeezing past their neighbours and beer mentors, Belgium, in a thrilling match that isn't decided until late. 3-2 Netherlands.

So here we have two great soccer nations and two countries that also produce some tasty IPAs; Brazil surprisingly so. It's a match between the only five-time World Cup Champ against a three-time finalist who has yet to taste the ultimate victory.

The drought continues. The Netherland's love of Imperial Stouts over Imperial IPAs comes back to bite them as Brazil wins the game 1-0 and takes their record sixth World Cup.

I can drink to that.