Elections, Flying Dutchmen and 5 Paddles

Ontario voters cast their ballots for a new government Thursday and while most of the polls leading up to the election said the race was too close to call, I had no hesitation handicapping it.

A Conservative minority for Tim Hudak, with the NDP forming the Official Opposition. The ruling Liberals, I predicted, would be decimated as voters would remember the $1 billion gas plant fiasco and other costly scandals (mostly made under former Premier Dalton McGuinty) and send Premier Kathleen Wynne’s government packing.

As it turned out, pretty much the complete opposite occurred, as Wynne strengthened her Liberal Party’s hold on the Legislature in convincing fashion, winning 59 seats and a majority government.

Hudak’s Conservatives limped into second, while Andrea Horwath’s NDP finished a disappointing third.

I guess we can strike ‘Pollster’ of my list of possible new careers.

In my defense, I made my prediction early in the campaign, when there was a short-lived “Anything but the Liberals” trend going. It wasn’t sustainable, thanks mostly to Hudak’s main campaign plank of axing 100,000 public sector jobs, and the airwaves in the final weeks of the race were littered with “Anything but Hudak” ads.

I was still making the Hudak minority call when I showed up at the Pickering-Scarborough East election office Thursday evening for my Media Consortium Correspondent gig, a job I do each Provincial election for my friend and former boss Sandi, who is the District Electoral Officer for the riding.

Sandi, whose Liberal Party roots run deep, sniffed at my assessment and questioned once again why she hires me.

My job was to phone in the poll results to the Consortium Results Centre as they arrived on my desk; usually at five to 10 minute intervals. That left me lots of time to doodle pictures of beer on post-it notes (for inspiration) and to wander in to Sandi’s office to catch the election coverage.

I had already seen the totals for the local candidate, Tracey McCharles (Lib), and knew that she was coasting to re-election with better than 50 per cent of the vote. Those numbers were being mirrored on the TV screen as I realized that Wynne was not only going to win, she was going to win big with a majority government.

Poor Sandi had already suffered through too many surprises over the past 24 hours, what with one of her staffers bowing out the night before to give birth a little prematurely; another broke her leg; and one of her poll station workers suffered a mild heart attack. There were also the usual glitches on voting day, highlighted by a … um…temporarily missing ballot box.

So the results on the night did not surprise her at all. Me? I didn’t see that coming.

(I did call my home riding of Oshawa correctly, with Jennifer French bringing the city back to the New Democratic Party after nearly two decades of Conservative rule by Jerry Ouellette.)

Political satirists will miss Hudak, who announced he was stepping down as leader of the Conservative Party that night. The man looks like a cross between Michael Keaton (“I’m Batman”) and Mr. Bean and I know there are plenty of cartoonists (and internet meme creators) who will be sad to see him gone.

The Beer Store, however, is happy Hudak and his crazy idea about selling beer in corner stores is history. 

The Conservative Party was the only mainstream party which came out in favour of breaking up the Beer Store/LCBO duopoly and there was plenty of chatter on the subject in the months heading into the election.

The issue stayed on the backburner during the campaign, which only proves that craft beer lovers and others seeking change to our archaic beer rules and regulations know that when it comes to casting your ballot to elect your next government there are far more important issues at stake than beer.

I know, I said it. But I’m not taking it back.

*

With my election predictions on the toilet, I was hoping to get something right this week and what better place to start than the World Cup of Soccer, which kicked off on election night.

I made predictions on the preliminary round a few days before and the first big test for my prognosticating abilities came on Friday when the defending champion and world number one ranked Spanish took on the Netherlands, their opponents in the 2010 World Cup Final.

I picked both to advance, but I said the Dutch would win the group on the backs of a victory over Spain in the opening match. Sweet revenge, it would be.

Even I couldn’t have predicted the result, though. The Orange crushed Spain 5-1, dominating the Spanish in all aspects of the game and scoring some spectacular goals in the process, such as the goal of the tournament from Robin Van Persie on the right.

At least I got something right.

*

I have been embroiled in a disagreement of sorts with my Beer Musketeer pals over the relative merits of my local brewery, 5 Paddles Brewing of Whitby.

The point of contention was IPAs, as 5 Paddles’ track record for my favourite variety of beer was spotty at best.

The first three I tried, Narcissism of Minor Differences IPA and an IIPA of the same name, and The Hipster, were weak efforts to say it as kindly as I can. I made the mistake of taking a bottle of Hipster to Donny’s Bar and Grill and we all agreed it sucked.

The main complaint was a lack of any hop flavor, despite the Paddlers throwing a ton of West Coast hops at it.

No problem, I said. I’ll give them another chance, I said. And I did, grabbing a bottle of an IPA called Pinebox a month or so later. It wasn’t outstanding, but I liked it and said so, only to get trashed because I didn’t say it was fantastic.

Hoppy aroma on the nose, with lots of pine. Bitter on the tongue with a decent finish. Not overwhelming but highly drinkable. I like it.

When an Imperial IPA called Imperial Guard (9.5 per cent) hit the bottle shop I snapped that up too. I liked that as well, but I wasn’t enthusiastic enough for the Musketeers, who seemed offended that I continued to frequent this little micro-brewery.

Bracing, very boozy. Hops a bit muted. Pours dark – almost a Black IPA – with a thin head. Very malt-forward, almost sweet. Still need to step up the game with the hops but a powerful pint nonetheless. Bitter and very punchy.

Seems pretty positive, I thought, but I got head shaking and mockery from my pals, who are blessed (spoiled perhaps?)to have local breweries (Amsterdam of Toronto; Nickel Brook of Burlington; and Garage Project of Wellington, New Zealand) who have been cranking out top notch brews for years.

I am far from giving up on 5 Paddles. The quest for the illusive Perfect IPA is not just my dream, but theirs as well.

Cheers!