Three Epic (drinking) evenings in Oshawa

I thought about it for only a moment before shaking my head at my own foolishness.

There may have been eight different beers in my box of fun from Down Under but I wasn't fooling anyone. There was always only going to be one beer that would be chosen first.

It was Hop Zombie time.

Orange and grapefruit bouquet with a floral aroma as well. Resiny and chewy citrus on the tongue, not unlike orange marmalade, with lots of tropical fruit, pepper and sweet malts. If I could quibble I would say the carbonation wasn't as prominent as I hoped, but as it had just arrived from a long voyage a little jet lag could be expected. Outstanding and world class beer.

Yeah, it was worth all the fuss.

After all the time, energy, expense and words expended in the name of this beer - this is the sixth blog written about it, fer crying out loud - it could be no other brew that would be first out of the box. The real question was what do I drink next?

I received my FedEx package on a Monday afternoon but because of work and family commitments it would be that evening before I got to my treasures - nine hop bombs from Epic Brewing (Auckland, NZ), courtesy of the Glorious Imp and the Divine Miss Ellie. With a 4 am wake-up call for work I had just a couple of hours of drinking ahead of me.

I wasn't going to drink them all in one sitting so a careful strategy was in order.

It was lucky then that I had Beer Bros Steve and Don to help me with my choices. "Drink ALL the beers," shouted Steve all the way from Wellington, N.Z.  "No! Save the big guys for tomorrow," cautioned Don from much closer Burlington, Ontario.

The legend that is Hop Zombie

Yeah, I know. Don being a voice of reason when it came to alcohol consumption was a new one on me, too.

So I made the decision to not listen to that big bully Steve and spread out my drinking over three magical evenings. After all, six of the nine bottles topped eight per cent alcohol, highlighted by Four Horsemen of the Hopocalypse and its massive 14 per cent ABV.

Steve, by the way, has had all the beers in the Epic fun box and seemed slightly offended that I felt the need to ask him. "I make sure to try all of Epic's offerings," he said rather huffily, adding that he enjoyed "at least one of each of them" at the last West Coast IPA Challenge at the Malthouse, Wellington's premier craft beer bar.

He wasn't too butt-hurt, however, as he stayed to offer encouragement from half-way 'round the world as I moved on from Hop Zombie to No Agenda, a most  excellent 7.5 per cent Brown Ale, a style I'm slowly coming around on.

Smells of brown sugar and pine and tastes of toffee malts and citrus with some sort of piney/grassy/spicy thing going on as well. Tough one to figure out but I liked it a lot.

Then it was on to the only 'session' beer in the mix: Epic Awakening, a 5.2 per cent Pilsner.

Mild lemony and peppery  aroma. Light and spicy on the tongue with citrus and a bit of pineapple and lime, with some sweetness. Hoppy. Good.

Steve is shouting from the South Pacific again, demanding that I have the Four Horsemen next, oblivious to the fact that I have to be up for work in four or five hours. I ignored him and drank my last bottle of The Dark Prince, a Black IPA from my local brewery Manantler in Bowmanville.

A dark and delicious nightcap that WASN'T 14 per cent alcohol.

Evening #2: When the big guns came out

After I  dropped off my son at his Mom's the next night I went right to the Four Horsemen of the Hopocalypse, a Triple IPA that is the brainchild of four of New Zealand's best brewers: Our man Luke (The Glorious Imp) Nicholas of Epic; Kelly Ryan of Fork & Brewer; Joseph Wood of Liberty; and Steve Plowman of Hallertau.

It's a big, bodacious beer at 14 per cent alcohol and it turned out to be the real prize in the box.

It has a fluffy head that seems to last forever and a powerful resiny aroma of pine, orange pulp, caramel malt and some sort of dark fruit. All those sweet malts give it a serious boozy kick  that threaten to overwhelm the massive load of hops. But they don't and the result is rich and thick and more than a little dangerous.

Four Horsemen IIIPA

Next up was Epic Imperium,  a nine per cent Imperial Stout, a beer that scored a very good 96 on Rate Beer but just a 53 for style, which makes zero sense to me, but then there are plenty of examples of Rate Beer scores that seem illogical at best.

Bitter chocolate, plums of various ages and a bit of coffee on the nose. Big taste of roasted malts with more bitter chocolate and dark fruits. Tasty.

My review - I  was the 53rd person to rate the beer - didn't affect the overall score but I did manage to bump up the style points from 53 to 55. There. I did my part.

The last beer of the night was The Observer, an Old Ale that checked in at a substantial 9.7 per cent ABV.

Red wine and bitter chocolate aroma. Lots of different dark fruit on the palate with rum and raisin, coffee and more chocolate. Strong malt base but not overpowering as the alcohol is well hidden. Epically good.

The Observer is billed as a 'Timeless Ale," which was true only for the beer. For me, it was time for bed.

The Pacific IPA Challenge and the end of the Epics

I kicked off the third and final installment in Drinking Epic Beers with a Pacific IPA Challenge, matching a Fat Tug from Driftwood Brewery of Victoria, B.C. (a beer I have fallen head-over-heels in love with since its introduction to Ontario a few months ago) against Armageddon, Epic's award-winning 6.66 per cent IPA that was so named by award-winning New Zealand beer writer and cricket fan Neil Miller.

Epic Armageddon

(Neil is also single-handily responsible for raising the profile of Canadian rock band Nickelback among the Australian cricket set with but a simple sign, but that's another story.)

I drank them simultaneously with the smaller (500 ml) Armageddon bottle the first to be emptied.

Lots of pine and tropical fruit on the nose. More citrus, pine, resin and bit of pineapple on the palate. Pleasingly bitter.

Fat Tug, a wee bit stronger at seven per cent, was next on the scorecard.

Huge aroma of grapefruit and mango and other tropical fruit. Big, resiny citrus hops on the tongue with more tropical fruit and biscuity malts. Deliciously bitter. An impressive beer.

The winner? I think I'll be diplomatic here as both were outstanding. It's a tie, damn it!

I had one more Imperial Stout in my Epic grab bag and the Epicurean Coffee & Fig Oatmeal Stout  (eight per cent ABV) was up next.

I got raisins and roast coffee with bitter chocolate on the nose. More of that on the tongue - especially the coffee, with sweet malts. Been a while since I ate a fig but this sure didn't taste like the fig newtons I used to know. It was, however, smooth and rich and really, really good.

Neil  and his friend Anika broke the
Twitterverse with this sign

There was just one beer left now: the second Hop Zombie. 



And then it was gone, proving it is true what they say: You can't have your Hop Zombies and drink them too.

I didn't know what else I could say about this 
amazing beer, so I did the next best thing: I stole someone else's review, namely that of Mr. Miller, who has probably consumed more Hop Zombies that anyone on the planet. Allegedly.


Take it away, Neil...

"This Imperial India Pale Ale has notes of ... who am I kidding? You get between me and a tap of this at Malthouse and I will trample you like a mummy hippo protecting her children."

I couldn't have said it better.

An Epic love affair year(s) in the making

"Flick me an email, mate, and I'll send you some."

So said the Divine Miss Ellie, Operations Manager (and occasional super hero) for Epic Brewing of Aukland, New Zealand, in response to a desperate plea for Hop Zombies (from me) in a previous IPA Tales blog.

Forty-seven days later - it was a Tuesday afternoon at 4:25 to be precise - that email turned into a 26 pound box of fun with a slightly soggy bottom that showed up at my door, courtesy of my friendly neighbourhood FedEx man.

Inside the box were nine bubble wrapped and intact bottles of beer, including two 500 ml bombers of an 8.5 per cent alcohol Double IPA that started this entire adventure nearly two years before.

My Hop Zombies, courtesy of Ellie and her boss, Epic Brewery founder Luke Nicholas, had finally arrived.

In a moment of philanthropic madness, Luke and Ellie had taken pity on me upon hearing my tragic tales of woe about smuggling Hop Zombie from the land Down Under to my humble apartment (Hop Zombies and Heartbreak) and decided unasked to send me some.

(I have subsequently been informed that at the end of that earlier blog I said "God Bless you, Epic Brewing Company. Please send me beer" and that could be interpreted as 'asking,' but I insisted that it was merely a 'suggestion.' As I was arguing with myself at the time we both considered the matter resolved.)

I was obviously excited with the news that my Hop Zombies were soon to be on their way and I had no reason to doubt the smuggling shipping skills of arguably New Zealand's best known brewery, but I would be forgiven if I still harboured some doubts.

Hop freakin' Zombie. At last.

Once bitten twice shy they say, and I had already been bitten in the ass twice...

It all started with a bet...

I believe my pal Steve, an old college roommate, craft beer lover and notorious Toronto Maple Leaf hater who now lives in Wellington, New Zealand, threw out the gauntlet first by declaring that the Leafs would not make the 2014 NHL playoffs.

A safe bet to be sure, as the team had qualified for the post-season just once in the nine years leading into those playoffs. But that 'once' was the previous season and in a moment of passion and foolishness, I took Steve up on the bet.

Winner gets beer. If I won, Steve was to package up some Epic Hop Zombies, a Double IPA that had already achieved legendary Pliny-like status in my mind, and send 'em my way. If Steve won the bet, he would get a few choice Ontario IPAs, as well as Red Racer IPA, an excellent B.C. ale brewed by a former bartending buddy from Vancouver who got into the beer business after Steve had left for New Zealand.

It was win-win for me by my math, as Steve would eventually get around to sending me Hop Zombies whether there was a bet or not because, well, Steve is awesome that way.

Sometimes, anyway.

So I sent him some beer (Red Racer on its way!) and then we waited for Canada Post and its partners to deliver it.

One-hundred and eight days later, long after I given up all hope, the beers finally arrived in New Zealand.

That's right. A hundred and eight days. Three-and-a-half months.

But at least he got it. I wrote about it (Around the World in 108 days) so he must have received it.

It was many months later before I thought I was going to get my first opportunity to drink a Hop Zombie, when Steve made the long journey back home to Ontario to bury his father John this past June. It was nice to see him again and we got together (along with some other college chums) for a bit of a reunion, but there was not a Hop Zombie to be found.

Why? Did my pal Steve not bring any with him? That seemed highly unlikely. No, there were plenty of Epic beers but it seemed Steve and my other Beer Bro and college pal Don got thirsty and DRANK THEM ALL!

Was I upset? Oh no, not me (A week full of memories), but only because there were a shit-ton of other great beers to enjoy.

But no Hop Zombies.

The Divine Miss Ellie

Perhaps for the first time in his life Steve felt guilt over his transgression and decided that when he returned he would package up some Kiwi hop monsters (including Hop Zombies, of course) and send them my way.

More for Don too, the greedy bastard.

This turned out to be the heartbreak part of the story I mentioned earlier as Don received his beer, t-shirts and other goodies 'round about the time my beers were being sent back to Steve's flat (they hadn't left New Zealand yet!) because of a breakage. Don, of course howled to the moon about it, while I waited for Steve to repackage the goodies (and wash all the beer-soaked tees) ...and waited...and waited some more until I eventually got the tragic news that Canada Customs had confiscated my beer (after it had already cleared in Vancouver) at the Toronto airport.

Heartbreak.

I have to admit I shed tears at this bit of news and the consolation prize of my Hop Zombie t-shirt arriving a week or so later was not enough to console me.

The email from the Divine Miss Ellie helped, however, as did the follow-up message the next day:

Hey Glenn,

Hope you're having a good week and settling in for an even better weekend.

Luke - The Epic Guy - linked me your blog this morning and said we must get in touch with you and send you some beers! 

So, let me know your address and I'll get them underway on Monday for you :)

Awesome blog by the way- very entertaining haha. Glad you got the tees in the end at least! 

Cheers,

(The Divine Miss) Ellie Tocker

For most people the story would happily end there, or at least it would end ten or 14 days or so later with the arrival of the beer and I would jump for joy, thank Ellie and Luke The Epic Guy from the bottom of my heart and then drink said beer. This being the story of my life, it wasn't quite so simple.

Luke the Epic guy

My next correspondence from Ellie came a month later when she said there were some delays around the holidays (understood) and the package was just going out that week. 

"You should receive it within 14 working days so please let us know if it doesn't arrive."

This did not concern me in the least. After everything that had happened thus far the fact the beer was being sent at all was good news enough for me. Besides, this was a brewery sending me beer. Surely there wouldn't be any problems.

Right?

As long as the package wasn't violently dropped - a real problem in the mail business, as  you can imagine - I would be enjoying Hop Zombies soon enough.

Eight days later Ellie sent me the tracking number - 7754124898XX - and I started following my package on its trip 'round the world. 

I had the utmost confidence in FedEx's delivery system and I was 99 per cent confident their employees possessed GPS software and would be able to find Oshawa, Ontario (just east of Toronto) without any trouble.

So when my package started heading the wrong way around the globe I wasn't worried. Uh uh. Not me. It would just mean the beer would taste that much better when it finally arrived.

So I cheered on my beer as it travelled to Mascot, Australia (I looked it up - it's the suburb of Sydney which contains the airport); Pasay City, The Philipines; Guangzhou, China (a slightly worrisome three-day stop); Koeln, Denmark; Stanstead, England; and a final European stop in Edinburgh, Scotland as FedEx prepared to brave the winter storm wreaking havoc on the Eastern Seaboard of North American at that time.

No worries, mate.

It was a couple of days later when I got the "oopsie" email from Ellie. Actually, she said "So sorry, I just realised I gave you  the wrong waybill #. Yours is 7754126027XX."

Epic Armageddon

Now I could follow my package all over the world all over again. On the bright side, my beer (or 'yeast samples,' as the shipping documents declared) had already arrived in Canada (according to my new, much improved tracking number) and was now resting somewhere near the Toronto Airport, perhaps already with that uncomfortable soggy bottom.

This time the beer went the right direction, having made familiar stops in Australia and China before visiting Narita and Sennan, Japan and then crossing the Pacific en route to Memphis, Tennessee and eventually, Canada.

The next day my beer headed to Markham - just 20 miles from home - for the final delivery in what had become a truly epic journey that began more than 18 months before and would eventually cover more than 42,000 kilometres.

There were (way) more than a few heartaches along the way, but as I sat staring at my box of fun all the anguish and sorrow seemed worthwhile.

As I said at the  top, there were nine intact half-litre bottles in the box. Broken but still bubble wrapped as if it were fixable was a bottle of Epic Imp, a session IPA named as a tribute to Luke himself, who was nicknamed the "Impish Brewer" by pal Neil Miller, the 2014 New Zealand Beer Writer of the Year and the only man more well known in the nation's beer scene than Luke - for now, anyway - thanks to his recent Twitter war with Australian cricketer David Warner. (That story, by the way, was captured perfectly here David Warner likes Nickelback and here David Warner doesn't know who Nickelback is. Do yourself a favour and read these. There's a reason why Neil is the funniest man between Thorndon and Palmerston North. But I digress.)

The nine Epic beers that did survive the voyage included just one other beer that could be called 'sessionable' - the excellent Awakening Pilsner at 5.2 per cent ABV - while the rest were considerably more powerful and dangerously delicious.

My Epic haul of wonder

As Steve warned me that evening as I was sitting down to start enjoying my treasures, I would need to strap in and put on my drinking helmet if I wanted to complete the job.

There was the award-winning Armageddon IPA (so named by our aforementioned pal Mr. Miller in 2008) at an easy-drinking 6.6 per cent; an excellent Brown Ale called No Agenda (7.5 per cent); a big bottle of Imperial Stout deliciousness with the wordy name of Epicurean Coffee Fig Oatmeal Stout (8 per cent); another Imperial Stout - Imperium - coming in at nine per cent - The Observer Old Ale (9.7 per cent); and a Triple IPA clocking in at a massive 14 per cent. The Four Horsemen of the Hopocalypse, they call it. I called it awesome.

And not to be forgotten, two beautiful, beautiful bottles of Hop Zombie.

To those who tried (Steve) and were beaten down in their efforts by The Man, and those who tried and succeeded (The Glorious Imp and the Divine Miss Ellie, take a bow), thank you, thank you, thank you. And thank you once again.

I am truly blessed.

Cheers!

R.I.P. Derek Harrington

Juno winning Irish singer-songwriter-producer Derek Harrington was taken from us today.

Derek was my good friend Rob's brother-in-law and I got to know him a bit and even watched his band play a few times in Toronto in the 1980s. But to those who knew him well, he was a legend in Dublin, in Toronto and in St. John's, Newfoundland, where he eventually took his guitar, his voice and his heart some years ago.

Godspeed Derek.

You rate a mansion in heaven.

Best New Brewer honors for Manantler - Rate Beer

I know. I rave about Manantler, my local brewery.

What can I say? They make great beer, they're great guys and while I'd hear whispers that I was not alone in believing this, I now have it confirmed.

Rate Beer, the world's largest beer rating forum, just released its annual Best Of list and right at the top in the Top New Brewer category for Ontario is the name Manantler.

I didn't see that coming at all, but damn! Congratulations!

My surprise at this honour wasn't based on the quality of their beer versus their competition - on the contrary, only Rainhard Brewing of Toronto - last year's Best New Brewer winner at the Golden Taps Awards - was producing the same level of excellence as Manantler, in my humble opinion.

With Blood Brothers, Muddy York and Whitby's Brock Street Brewing (among others) also debuting in 2015, there was some stiff competition for the Rate Beer Award and I assumed the Toronto brewers would get the volume of ratings that would make it difficult for Manantler to come out on top.

You need ten reviews for a beer to get an official rating from Rate Beer and not one of Manantler's current offerings have hit that mark, with three - Liquid Swords (IPA), Seismic Narwhal (IIPA) and The Dark Prince (Black IPA) - on the verge with nine ratings each.

James (left) and Chris at the 2015 Ontario Brewing Awards
(Second place in the Black IPA category for The Dark Prince)

(Nine ratings produces a 'pending' score only visible if you click once or twice and don't make the wrong turn at Albuquerque. Seismic Narwhal's pending score of 91 out of 100 is the highest of the three.)

As it turns out, the other new brewers weren't putting up big numbers either. Rainhard had a half dozen beers rated more than ten times each with a high water mark of 13, while others had a handful or less.

So there you go.

Of course, I instantly congratulated Manantler on Facebook and Twitter. Got a little full of myself too, as I knew I was frequent contributor to Rate Beer on the brewery's behalf. "You're welcome," I said on Facebook, while maintaining a more professional presence (as professional as I can get, anyway) on Twitter.

Chris, classy as always, simply thanked me.

But I decided  I should take some pride in my personal contributions to the Rate Beer award. Chris is a great guy and Brewmaster James is a  righteous dude (do they still say 'righteous' these days?) and both are friends. Cellarman Trevor, who is just biding his time in Bowmanville until Sam Calagione quits at legendary Delaware brewery Dogfish Head, is also a pal. So anything I can do to help these dudes brew even more fantastic beer is a good thing, I say.

Anyway, I checked out the Rate Beer stats just to see how wonderful I really was, and I discovered I rated 18 different Manantler beers last year.

Not bad, but only good enough for second place. There were a few others with a half-dozen or more ratings (Sammy, Bendrixian, Mabel, Jercraigs, take a bow), but one rater from Peterborough stood out above us all.

Seismic Narwhal IIPA, one of many
great beers created by Manantler Brewing last year.

He calls himself The Jester and he has reviewed more than 2,300 beers for Rate Beer, making me and my 200 ratings look like a rookie. The Jester has scored 32 beers for Manantler (if my math is good and it often isn't) and deserves some major props for his contributions towards this award.

But we just rated the beer. You know, put the beer in front of us and we speak the truth. James (who celebrated a birthday yesterday), Chris, Trevor and everyone else at Manantler (occasional beer slinger and full-time amazing Sarah, that's you too) are the real stars here.

I may have drank 18 different Manantler beers last year but I enjoyed many, MANY more and I loved all of them, which isn't always the case with breweries - even great breweries. I do have some favourites, however.

Seismic Narwhal is their first strong offering in the Double IPA class and the boys brewed a couple of IPAs that were exceptional - Liquid Swords (their everyday IPA) and Time Damage, a beer that was brewed for iconic punk band The Diodes and was one of just two Manantler brews I enjoyed that The Jester  didn't. (You missed a good one sir.)

3 Legged Dog, a really nice Belgian Strong Ale, The Dark Prince (their award-winning Black IPA), and a bunch of single hop pale ales - Amarillo Lollihop and Falconer's Flight in particular - also stood out.

Well deserved honours, folks. Well deserved.

Bellwoods, Nickel Brook also earn
All-Ontario honours from Rate Beer

Ontario's Beer of the Year in 2015, according to Rate Beer, is Nickel Brook's Kentucky Bastard Bourbon Barrel-Aged Imperial Stout, a beer that clocks in an intimidating 12 per cent ABV.

I have had many Nickel Brook beers (not as many as my pal Don, who, I'm told, has a private tasting drinking room in the brewery) but I have yet to enjoy this one. Which is why I went down to the LCBO this afternoon and bought the last one on the shelf.

I smell bourbon and lots of it. Also dark chocolate, black coffee and a bit of vanilla. Coffee and bourbon are the strongest flavours of the beer and there’s some dark fruit in here as well, along with smoky malts. Impressive beer and the bourbon-boozy finish is a reminder of the 12 per cent alcohol. Tread carefully.

That is beer rating number 201.

Brewery of the Year for Ontario went to Bellwoods, one of my favourite breweries and a regular stop whenever I can afford to make a Toronto beer run.

Bellwoods produces a ton of world class beers and while I have none of them in my fridge at the moment, I know there are bottles of the world class Witchshark IIPA available down at Buster Rhino's in downtown Oshawa.

This could be a really good weekend.

Congratulations to all the winners.

Cheers!