Border crossings, 12 bucks for 120 Minutes and why don't I live in San Diego?

Odds are when you drive 200 kilometres in quest of a single beer and you discover a 'sold out' sign on the shelf where the beer should be, it was a less than awesome day.

It's even worse when you have to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel, swim across crocodile-infested waters and brave a hail of gunfire from angry border agents just to get there.

But, maybe not so oddly enough, I discovered the trip was all worth it.

Such was the case a couple of weeks ago (except for the Niagara Falls-in-a-barrel, crocodiles and the "hail of gunfire" stuff - chalk it up to ... um ... mild hyperbole) when I made my first border crossing of 2016. Normally I do at least four of these cross-border beer shopping excursions a year, sometimes more, but with gas, exchange rates and duties, the trips are not cheap.

Especially for a guy in my snack bracket.

Sacrifices have to eventually be made however and when I heard about a Tangerine IPA from Stone Brewing, aka The Brewery That Can Do No Wrong - I knew I had to go and get it.

No Enjoy By to enjoy on this day

Part of Stone's Enjoy By series of IIPAs released four or five times a year, this 9.4 per cent pureed tangerine-infused lovely was brewed to be enjoyed by May 30, so I had plenty of time when I left for Niagara Falls, New York and the Consumer's Beverages outlet on Niagara Falls Boulevard, just east of the I-90.

I've had two in the series before and both were excellent. World class, actually, like practically everything from Stone, the San Diego County brewery that is my favourite American beer maker by a country mile.

But I wasn't going to enjoy a third as there were no Enjoy By beers to be enjoyed on this day.

I suppose I could have tried other beer stores in Niagara Falls, but with a ton of IPAs and their friends here, I didn't mope long. Especially when the shelves devoted to Stone had 24 Carrot Golden Ale and NxS IPA, a couple of beers I had really - like really - wanted to buy last year but I had missed my opportunity. And here they were, in all their glory.

In the cart they went, along with a bomber of Stone's Bitter Chocolate Oatmeal Stout, part of the California brewery's 20th Anniversary Encore Series.

Sculpin! At last

By the time I got to Ballast Point Sculpin (San Diego again) I didn't need any more convincing that the trip was a success. A benchmark for all those West Coast-style IPAs fairly bursting with citrus juiciness, Sculpin was probably the first American IPA to steal my heart.

Two years was too long between Sculpins, so a six-pack found its way to the cart.

I tossed in sixes of All Day IPA from Founders Brewing of Grand Rapids, Michigan - the standard bearers for south-of-the-border Session IPAs - and Hop Hunter from iconic California craft brewer Sierra Nevada, and when I found a bomber of Handshake IPA - a collaborative brew between new business partners Green Flash and Alpine breweries (both from San Diego County - go figure) - I knew I was at my budget and headed for check-out.

It was there that I found it, sitting orphan-like on the counter and sporting a big yellow sticker that shouted "buy me, you fool, I'm only a dollar an ounce!"

So I did. $11.99 (USD) for 12 ounces of quadruple IPA IS a lot of cash for a beer, but it's not every day you come across the fabled 120 Minute IPA from Delaware's Dogfish Head Brewery. It's right up there with Heady Topper and Pliny the Younger - sort of a Holy Trinity for hopheads - and if the 18 per cent alcohol doesn't scare you, think about this: in 2009 the mad scientists at Dogfish Head dialled it BACK from 21 per cent.

A rare find

So into the cart it went. And I knew just who to share it with: Trevor, Everyone's Favourite Cellarman, and a man who would sell your mother (not his, mind) for a glass of anything from Dogfish Head.

And I was betting he hadn't tried this.

(I was so excited by my score I forgot to put any Ruination - Stone's classic IIPA - in the basket, something I don't think has ever happened before. My pal Don usually gets a couple of bottles of this 100-plus IBU cure-all, but I dropped him off a mixed six of other goodies on the way back to Oshawa. I think we're good.)

My next stop was the border - after a fill-up across the street where I paid the equivalent of 62 cents a litre (oh you crazy Americans!) - and those gun-totin' border agents, who have been giving me a hard time of late. Not about smuggling - those days are gone - but about those pesky duties on beer.

Up until a year ago my case of US beer elicited a shrug and a "have a good day" from customs, but since last July I have been getting dinged for the fees, which weren't that much anyway at about a buck a bottle. At first I chalked it up to interns calling it by the book (the inside clerks last summer were young and unarmed), but the practice continued last fall as well.

On this day, however, after the usual raised eyebrows that I would drive so far for just a few beers, I heard the magic words: "have a good day."

Sure looking that way so far.

Drinking and Shake, Shake, Shake

The fun part of these cross border beer runs always come later, when it's time to drink my prizes. And no, I didn't finish all these bad boys in one night. It took me at least four evenings with a little bit of daytime drinking thrown in just because whenever I opened my fridge there they were, staring at me.

Not a single beer disappointed.

First up was Stone's Bitter Chocolate Oatmeal Stout, and this smelled of dark chocolate, strong roasted coffee and dark ripe fruit. It tasted of bitter chocolate, more coffee, dark malts and a bit of molasses. Very rich.

Tasted like carrot cake. True story

Next in the glass was 24 Carrot Golden Ale, a beer I kicked myself for not grabbing last year when it was first released. And why not? It was supposed to taste exactly like carrot cake - I kid you not. The brainchild of amateur brewer Julie Goldenberg and the winner of a Stone-sponsored competition, this 8.5 per cent dessert beer was tweaked a bit with the help of Stone and Monkey Paw brewers and I was more than happy to see it in May of 2016.

The date code on the bottle was September 23 (Bruce Springsteen's birthday!) but clearly this ages well because drinking it was quite the experience. It poured a semi-murky yellow and smelled of chocolate, raisins and candied fruit. It tasted exactly as advertised: like carrot cake, icing and all. Amazing.

Up next was Hop Hunter, a hop oil-infused IPA from Sierra Nevada that hit the nose with a blast of pine, along with grapefruit and pineapple notes. Very smooth and easy drinking. An excellent IPA and better than expected.

The Stone/Sierra Nevada collaboration - NxS IPA - was another beer I had my eye on in 2015 but failed to find. This was a thrice-blended concoction with gin-infused and rye whisky barrels figuring in the equation as well and it smelled of citrus and spicy pine. The taste was rich and smooth, with bits of stone fruit, pine and biscuity malts. Delicious finish. Well done.

It had been a while since I enjoyed All Day IPA from Founders, which set the bar for Session IPAS when it was introduced in 2012. It's all pine with citrus and some grassy notes on the nose. Beautifully balanced.

Brewed by Friends

Handshake, a beer brewed to celebrate the merger of California brewers Green Flash and Alpine ('Brewed by Friends'), was the penultimate beer from this trip and this seven per cent IPA delivered a very citrusy aroma with pineapple and a little sweetness as well. More of the same on the tongue - I got orange in particular - with a slightly spicy, deliciously bitter finish. It's no Octopus but, damn! This is a finalist for IPA of the year. Outstanding.


And speaking of handshakes, it was nearly a week before I hooked up with Trevor at Manantler's brewery and tasting room to experience the 120 Minute IPA, an occasion where I also went behind the bar and into the brewery for the first time. To drink beer of course.

Trevor was there with my two favourite brewers (James and Chris) and when Chris left for some beer business Trevor poured out four ounce portions - in the brewery, in case there were G-Men about - for the three remaining amigos.

Not a ton of aroma but this beer goes down hot (James) with plenty of boozy warmth. A bit of sweet bitterness at the end but not a ton of it (Trevor). Doesn’t really taste like any IPA I’ve ever had but it was damn good (Me).

This is nothing like the 'Biz' handshake at all, but I just
love this picture. Lebron, not so much. Bismack!

One of those I'm-glad-I tried-it kind of beers, but at 12 bucks a bottle I won't be rushing out to re-live the experience any time soon.

While I was in the bowels of the brewery I was honoured with another lesson in the ways of the bro handshake. This one involved a traditional handshake, followed by a bro shake that morphed into a chest bump, which was followed by jazz hands (that's what I thought I was doing) and finishing with a leaping forearm smash.

The crook of the arm, actually, but I think you know what I mean.

The last part the boys called 'The Biz,' in honour of new Toronto Raptors fan favourite Bismack Biyombo, but I'm going to call the whole thing 'The Biz.'


A couple of days later I returned to the bar to try Run DHC, a beer brewed with the Durham Homebrewers Club that was tart, funky and melony smooth and also sported a label (naturally) that was identical (except for the H) to Run DMC's landmark 1986 'Raising Hell' release.

Rap legends Run DMC. I saw DMC
(no Run) with a couple of dudes from
Aerosmith at Live 8. I really am cool

I met a new bartender (the enthusiastic and beer festival-organizing Tasha) and we chatted for a few minutes about the beer before Trevor walks in and instantly demands "The Biz." In front of a lovely young woman I just met and an equally lovely trio of thirty-somethings looking for prices on kegs for a party.

And we nailed it. On the second try.

I am officially cool.