Peanut butter love; Batman approved - the beer of 2019

I have written just one blog in 2019 that wasn't of the year-end variety, and that was back on January 20.

As far as beer goes, it's been a fantastic first quarter of 2019, so it hasn't been for lack of material - I've just been preoccupied with other matters. But with more than a dozen beers - most of them new to me - that have woken up both my palate and my creative juices, and four in particular that have kick-started my soul, I think I'm ready to write something.

The four beers that have stolen my heart this year come from four different breweries and, with one exception, came and went from my life faster than my Equifax credit score.

There is one that was still around as of this writing, and I did my best to finish the keg all by myself by pleading with Sarah and Shanice at my local not to sell it to anyone else.

Fairweather Brewing of Hamilton is quickly
developing a reputation as one of Ontario's
best breweries

Most likely not one of my best qualities, though Sarah just laughed and Shanice simply ignored me, so perhaps they found it endearing after all.

The keg is now (sadly) empty.

But before I start rhapsodizing about those four (or about the staff at Top Corner), I want to give a shout-out to a few other beers that dazzled me this year; further proof (if more was needed) that the beer scene in Ontario varies between stellar and exceptional, and is getting better every day.

There are some old favourites on the list, such Ghost Orchid from Bellwoods and Clutch from Redline, and there is a beer I've enjoyed only once or twice - hello, Fairweather's High Grade IPA - that is so impressive I am dumbfounded as to why it isn't a perennial IPA of the Year candidate in this blog. So good.

The controversial Flying Monkeys Sparklepuff Triple IPA is here too. With all that melon and peach flavour and the near total absence of booziness - almost unheard of for a 10 per cent beer - this would have been rated much higher if not for the floaties.

Bellwoods' Hafis Road location is my top spot
for beer whenever I'm in Toronto.
So many great beers...

Its detractors - there were many, and they were vocal - called it Sparklechunks. Apt.

Lots of new beers (to me) this year too. There were two new Wizard Wolf variations from Bellwoods - Citra & Columbus and Simcoe & Mosaic - and the legendary Hopslam from Michigan's Bell's Brewery also made its first ever appearance, thanks to the wonderful Beer Bro Paul.

Manantler delivered two top notch new beers this spring. Barley Brown, a magical Brown Ale, and Tunnel Vision, which might or might not be a replacement for last year's Beer of the year finalist Cascade Lollihop, were both in the house. My house.

Both are also still in the brewery fridge and as to that Cascade Lollihop thing, I haven't confirmed that nugget of intel with Brewery Owner Extraordinaire Matt as of yet. Hulk Smash, an IPA with awesome can art from fellow Bowmanville brewers Chronicle, also wowed me this spring and Null and Void from Ottawa's Dominion City Brewery (part of my first ever beer mail shipment), impressed me with its Triple IPA deliciousness.

But none of those beers - fantastic though they were - took my breath away like the four brews that I judged the best of the best of the first quarter of 2019.

Ottawa's best kept secret no longer

First up was a beer I discovered on a trip to the Hammer with my friend Shona in February. There were a bunch of beery highlights but a Pale Ale from Fairweather - fast becoming one of the province's best breweries - called Menagerie (Simcoe) absolutely blew me away. With a mango and tart citrus aroma and a ton of tropical fruit goodness, this was an absolutely lovely beer.

I didn't think that could be topped until a trip to Bellwoods' Hafis Road location a few weeks later, where I (re-)discovered Double Jutsu. Pineapple juice, ripe citrus and a resiny bitterness make this an instant Beer of the Year candidate. Too bad that by the time I made a return visit, and despite me begging Ashley (the coolest cat in the beer business) to find a bottle from her secret stash for me, it was sold out.

Lots of love on social media for this one, so I hope it returns soon.

The third brew in this phenomenal foursome was the gold medal winner from that Canada Post beer delivery, courtesy of my new friends at Dominion City.

A DIPA With Fruit - a Dominion City (Ottawa)
and Barncat (Cambridge) collaboration IIPA,
is very much Batman approved

The Ottawa brewers teamed up with Barncat Artisan Ales of Cambridge - who I visited last summer - to produce A DIPA With Fruit, an 8.5 per cent super juice bomb that was bursting with pineapple, mango and peach.

The first thing I thought of after the first sip was Holy Fruit Explosion, Batman, that was outstanding! Followed by the thought that Robin probably DID say something like, as there were a total of 359 Robin catchphrases - all beginning with "Holy..." - in that classic, campy late 60s television program that shaped the (warped) sense of humour of an entire generation.

The closest I got was "Holy astringent plum-like fruit," from the very last episode of the show's three-year run, and that is a good example of why Batman, and not Robin, is the brains of the Dynamic Duo. Seriously, Robin, astringent? Not in this beer; not when its brewed with plenty of pineapple and passion fruit puree.

Good thing we had Batman to set the Boy Wonder straight, in this brilliantly written exchange (it should have earned an Emmy) from Minerva, Mayhem and Millionaires (1968):

Batman: Yes, I'm looking forward to Minerva's famous eggplant-jelly vitamin scalp massage.
Goon: Minerva thought you might pop into the Persimmon Pressurizer first.
Robin: Persimmon Pressurizer? Holy astringent plum-like fruit!
Batman: Only astringent until ripe, Robin.

No way I could find a beer to rival that (I thought) until I wandered into Top Corner a couple of days after that delicious delivery and saw Peanut Butter Godiva from 5 Paddles on tap. Peanut butter, huh? I have to try this, I said, dismissing several IPAs on the tap list that are usually my go-to pints.

Now I love peanut butter a lot and probably way more than the next guy, unless the next guy is named Dan B. and he is dreaming about this 8.5 per cent peanut butter and chocolate Imperial Stout on Untappd:

"I would risk my peanut allergy to try this," says Dan.

Mmmm...peanut butter

Dude, no. I was back at Top Corner nearly every day until this keg of Reese Peanut Butter Cup-in-a-glass was emptied, so I can appreciate the sacrifice you were prepared to make, but you are going to have to sit this one out.

Which sucks for you and I apologize for that, because this beer was fantastic!

Thick and creamy, with great dollops of peanut butter and hints of dark chocolate teasing my taste buds, right down to the last drop. Rich and decadent and delicious.

I never got a single bottle of this stuff, so I sure hope Spencer and the crew at 5 Paddles make more and soon.

'Tis the season of beer and I don't want it to end.

R.I.P. Joel Manning

Craft beer lost a legend yesterday with the passing of Joel Manning, a pioneer brewer at Amsterdam and later at Mill Street.

I never met him but several friends in the business have and all spoke glowingly of Joel as a friendly and genuine person and a wonderful brewer.

And to many, he was a friend.

A glass tip in your honour sir.

2018 - A Year of Beer in Review

(Part 2)

The toughest thing by far about writing these year-end blogs is choosing the winners in any category involving people.

Picking my favourite beer is no easy task either, but Karma Citra is not going to be butt-hurt if I choose another beer as my favourite over her.

Because Karma Citra is naturally super chill and wouldn't concern herself with feelings of jealousy and ... damn! Did I just assume the gender of a beer? I think I did.

Anyway, people are different than beer, I think that's what I'm trying to say. And breweries are more than just bricks and mortar and shiny things and ... beer. Breweries are made up of people, so when I set about choosing my Brewery of the Year I had a great deal of difficulty in picking a winner.

I was able to pick a few finalists, so that's a start.

Brewery of the Year

Little Beasts, Town, Manantler, Collective Arts, Left Field, Redline

Three local breweries and three other superb Ontario breweries. I talked about how far craft beer has come in Ontario in Part 1 of this blog, and this is a great example of how far it has come right here in Durham Region.

The three local breweries are the ones I frequent far more than any other. They are more convenient, sure, but if the beer wasn't top notch I wouldn't visit, at least not often. And the people? Aces, in my book. Erin and John at Little Beasts, Matt and Corey at Manantler and Tim, Dana and Jeff (to name just a few) at Town. Great people making great beer.

Which is my way of saying I couldn't decide on a winner, so I went local and chose three breweries as my co-winners.

Kaitlyn and Dex from Redline Brewery
in Barrie. Unforgettable hospitality

Winner(s): Little Beasts, Town, Manantler

Best Brewery Experience

I hit up a lot of breweries - near and far - last year, and was treated like gold at damn near every one. Brewery staff always lay out the welcome mat for customers, and when they're welcoming a bunch of bloggers, vloggers, alleged beer 'influencers' and the general ne'er-do-wells I usually associate with, they really go all out.

I enjoy myself whenever I go to a brewery, local or otherwise. I've just always loved the vibe. But when my friends and I hit up a new city to get a taste of the local brew, well, that's just another level.

It's such a blast, and brewery staff go the extra mile to make us feel loved. Me. I would have given us a suspicious glance and counted the sample glasses before the tour started, but brewery people are clearly much more trusting than I am.

Which is a long way of saying this category (this year) is open to breweries from Hamilton, Cambridge, Barrie and the County of Muskoka.

From Cambridge, my favourite was Jackass. Wayne Saunders, who owns the joint with his brother Keith, was behind the bar and it seemed like he was in the mood to party. Naturally, so did we. We really wanted to stay longer. Northland Brewing also got points.

It was difficult to pick a favourite from the Barrie trip because of the incredible people we met at, really, all five breweries we visited. And though Muskoka and Sawdust City made strong cases, Redline's hospitality was seriously on point. From Kaitlyn to Dex to Paul to Joe, even though we were a little (!) drunk by then we were still treated like royalty.

In Hamilton, it was definitely Grain & Grit, with Merit also earning some love. Joe Mrav, who partnered with his wife Lindsey to build this brewery, was on hand to entertain Beer Bro Don and I last February and enlighten us on all things beer, though he wasn't able to cure the bad case of the sniffles (advanced stage) that I was suffering from.

One of his beers - "OMG, I can actually smell this!" - almost did, at least for five minutes.

When you win an award like the
Golden Taps Best Beer Writer
you never let it go, even if it
means cuddling with it
at night. Amirite|?

Winner: Redline. Unforgettable experience.

Best Beer Influencer

I debated the name of this category for a bit - Beer Personality was considered - but settled on 'Influencer' because that's what the people on this list do. They influence people to do good things - Drink Local, Drink Good Beer, Don't Be An Asshole, that sort of thing - and we are all the better for it.

Some people on this list I've met once, others I have yet to meet but talk on social media. Some have quickly become good friends and others - okay, Don - I've known for nearly 40 years. But they all rock my world in some way.

Don Redmond, Ben Johnson, Kathryn Arsenault, Robert Arsenault, Robin LeBlanc, Rene Navarro, Jordan St. John, Dana Jackson, Matt Allott

Winner: Robert Arsenault (Drunk Polkeroo)

The 2018 Best Beer Writer at the Golden Taps Awards, Polk has been a passionate advocate for craft beer for only a few short years, but he is already a star in Ontario's craft beer landscape. Drink Local, Drink Good Beer and Don't Be An Asshole could be his middle names if they weren't so long and wordy.

A worthy winner if there ever was one.

Best Triple Play

This is a category for IPA lovers like myself (it is my blog after all), because it is awarded to the brewery which produces the best IPA/IIPA/APA combination. You know, the classics.

The beer fridge at Town.
Always full of my favourites

This year my finalists came from Bellwood (Ghost Orchid, Cosmic Tiara, Pale Ale - Citra, Mosaic, Eukanot); Left Field (Greenwood, Laser Show, Rally Cap); Collective Arts ( IPA Project #5, Radio the Mothership, Rhyme & Reason); and Town (Brave New World, Planet Caravan, Four Corners).

I gotta visit the folks in Toronto's Leslieville neighbourhood more often.

Winner: Left Field

Best Beer Fridge

When I walk into a brewery I make a beeline for the beer fridge first to see what is coming home with me. I like most of the offerings at most breweries most of the time, but rarely do I like everything I see.

At Bellwoods (Hafis Road) and at Town Brewery, it's rare there is a beer I DON'T like. This also means I drop more of my hard earned dollars whenever I visit, so I guess there's a downside to this too.

Winner(s): Bellwoods (Hafis) and Town

Best Beer Executive

I admit it. I stole this category from my pal Don and his own Year in Beer Review. I think it was Part 3, or maybe Part 6, I'm not sure. Anyway, I have Matt Allott from Manantler; Erin Broadfoot and John Henley (Little Beasts); Spencer McCormack (5 Paddles); Mark Woitzak (Brock Street); and Joe Mrav (Grain & Grit) on my final list.

These are the brewery owners who always make the effort (while doing it effortlessly) to ensure you are made to feel welcome every time you visit; who tell you when they have to clear out the fridge to make room for the next batch and that there are discounts available; and who contact you in advance (so you can raid your piggy bank) to tell you your favourite pale ale is about to return.

Matt Allott. So awesome Santa Claus still
gives him presents

In other words, super awesome people who should be recognized for their awesomeness.

Winner(s): Matt Allott (Manantler) and Erin Broadfoot (Little Beasts)

Best Brewmaster

Always a tough call, especially as I don't always know who's actually making my beer.  But I'm smart enough (just) to recognize brilliance when I taste it, and there are four brewers - three of them local - who I decided to nominate in this category.

Erin Broadfoot (Little Beasts); Tim Ferriman (Town); Corey Fairs (Manantler); and Ryan Morrow (Collective Arts).

All four put out killer beer after killer beer, but no one produced consistent winners like the rock star running the back of the house at Town Brewery in Whitby.

Winner: Tim Ferriman (Town)

Beer of the Year

When I started a list of beers I thought should be nominated for my Best Beer of 2018, I found I had trouble putting my pen down. So many excellent beers were consumed last year I ended up with 31 on my list.

Thirty-one finalists. That's a big number. Besides the usual suspects of IPAs, Imperial IPAs and American Pale Ales, the list includes a Hefeweizen, a Gose, two Saisons, three Sours and even a Dortmund Lager.

There are six finalists from Town Brewery, four each from Collective Arts and Bellwoods and three from Manantler.

Two legendary beers are there as well.  Rochefort Trappiste 10, an Abbey/Quad from Belgium that is consistently among the highest rated beers in the world - it is a beautiful beer - and Heady Topper, a Double IPA from Vermont that I could say was a gift from the gods, except it was a gift from Don.

My Beer of the Year

Meh. Close enough.

Four Corners, Brave New World, Broken Arrow, Planet Caravan and Sticky Finn - all from Town - and So Long and thanks for the IBUs; a Town/Muddy York collaboration. From Collective Arts I have Liquid Arts Fest, Radio the Mothership, IPA Project #5 and Gose with Guava; and from Bellwoods there is Barn Owl #10, Hellwoods, Ghost Orchid and Bring Out Your Dead with cacao nibs and hazelnut. Cascade Lollihop, Death's Tar and Peer Pressure are my three finalists from Manantler.

Little Beasts had a couple of memorable beers last year in Changeling - Peach Apricot and Saison D'ete; and Redline produced two as well: Clutch and Double Clutch. And I could never forget Heady Topper (The Alchemist) and Rochefort Trappiste 10.

Also making the cut was Greenwood (Left Field); Hasheeshian (Chronicle/Wave Maker); Tempest (Amsterdam); Bewitched (Amsterdam); Volt (Signal); Dr. Juice (5 Paddles); Mountain Lager (Side Launch); and Paradise Lost - Spiced Cherry (Blood Brothers).

I never thought I would see the day when my Beer of the Year was a Sour, but here we are. All I had was a shared bottle (three ways!), a glass on tap a couple of days later and then a final bottle (also shared three ways) but it was enough. So tart; so freakin' delicious.

Winner: Peer Pressure (Manantler)

Cheers!

2018 - a Year of Beer in Review

(Part One)

To say 2018 was a great year for beer in this province would not be hyperbole, but instead be a gross understatement. Ontario beer is, quite simply, world class and getting better on the daily.

To quote Ontario Craft Beer Guide authors Robin LeBlanc and Jordan St. John (and not for the first time), "every day that passes is the best day for beer."

I can drink to that.

I got to drink in a lot of different cities and at a lot of new breweries last year, as I opened my heart and mind to the concept of visiting towns and taking over all their breweries. Or as many as we could, anyway.

What an awesome concept.

I got to know Hamilton real well, as I was there at least three times - including once when I was nearly on death's door from a bad case of sniffles - and I was also an enthusiastic participant at brewery takeovers in Cambridge (I miss you Jess!) and Barrie/Muskoka as well.

I also watched my local - Buster Rhino's - close (for two days), then re-open (for two months) before closing again (for a week) before re-opening (under new ownership) as Top Corner, with the core staff (who I love dearly) still slinging suds.

2018 also saw beer lovers across this fine province cast enough votes for my friend Robert Arsenault (Drunk Polkeroo) at the Golden Tap Awards (held in conjunction with the OBAs - the Ontario Brewing Awards) to make Polk the Beer Writer of the Year in Ontario.

The same night in that same venue, Erin Broadfoot and John Henley of Little Beasts Brewing took home the Newcomer of the Year Award at the OBAs. So cool.

So a pretty good year then. And as it is now February, I guess it is also time to do my Best Of 2018 blog, just to see how awesome the beer scene actually was last year.

And yes, I know other, more prolific beer bloggers did their annual reviews a month ago (or more), but I've been busy being me, so here we are.

That and my friend Candice was asking why the hell the year-end blog hadn't been written yet.

Here you go Candice.

As always, the categories are open to beers from every nation and Don's older than I am, so let's get started.

The IPAs and their friends

Most of the beer I drink falls into one of these categories because I drink what I like and I like IPAs and all their pals very, very much.

Eleven 'standard' IPAs made the cut this year.

Wizard Wolf - Mosaic, Ghost Orchid (last year's winner), and Roman Candle, all from Bellwoods; IPA Project #5 (Collective Arts); Dr, Juice (5 Paddles); Brave New World (Town); Greenwood (Left Field); Waheela (Little Beasts); Space Invader (Amsterdam); Sun Kiss (Jackass); and Karma Citra (Great Lakes).

Winner: Greenwood (Left Field). So smooth tasting, with that burst of citrus leaving my mouth feeling happy. A superstar in the making.

There were ten Imperial IPAs on my list of finalists, including two challengers from south of the border. One of those was the legendary Heady Topper from The Alchemist in Vermont (a gift from my pal Don), which more than lived up to its billing. So freakin' good. But did it win?

Radio the Mothership (Collective Arts); Hop Rising (Squatters); Heady Topper (The Alchemist); Cosmic Tiara and Double Dry-Hopped Cat Lady (Bellwoods); Immodest (Nickel Brook); Laser Show (Left Field); Planet Caravan (Town); Double Clutch (Redline); and Beyond the Pail (Falcon).

Winner: Radio the Mothership (Collective Arts). Dangerously delicious. Go Ontario!

American Pale Ales, or Day Beers, as I call them, make up a significant portion of my beer consumption, with the low ABV and the shit-ton of flavour the reasons why. Ten APAs made my final list.

Morning Glory (Fairweather); Cascade Lollihop (Manantler); Four Corners (Town); Clutch (Redline); Borealis Citra (Elora); Pale Ale - Citra, Mosaic, Eukanot (Bellwoods); Pinion (Little Beasts); Naughty Neighbour (Nickel Brook); Rally Cap (Left Field); and Rhyme & Reason (Collective Arts).

Winner(s): Cascade Lollihop (Manantler) and Four Corners (Town). Two of my absolute favourite beers from 2018. Both were just so fantastic I couldn't decide.

More friends ...

Sour Pale Ale: Peer Pressure (Manantler). Brewmaster Corey Fair's first attempt at a Sour. I'd say keep doing what you're doing Corey. Spectacular brew. I want more.
Sour IPA: Skull Pucker (5 Paddles)
Oat IPA: Oat of this World (Manantler). Lots of beers with oats in the mash, but this is the only one with oats in the name, too, so it gets its own category. Plus, I liked it a lot.
Rye IPA: Rainbow in the Dark (Redline)
Belgian IPA: Bewitched (Wellington). Part of a re-branded brewery mixed-six, this was a treasure.
Belgian IIPA: Broken Arrow (Town). A serious Beer-of-the-Year candidate.
Brut IPA: Inner Sunset (5 Paddles)
White IPA: Sundrop Wheat IPA (Fairweather)
Session IPA: Light Ray (Grain & Grit)
Milkshake IPA: Liquid Arts Fest (Collective Arts). The best of this style I've ever enjoyed.
Brett IPA: Barn Owl #10 (Bellwoods). Another Beer-of-the-Year contender. Sour and refreshing at the same time. It was like pineapple meets Sour Key.
Black IPA: Death's Tar (Manantler). Honourable mention goes to The Dominatrix (5 Paddles) and Apocalypse Later (Great Lakes)
Session Black IPA: Hot Wax (Manantler)

Sours became a really big deal for me in 2018. In fact, I'm not ashamed to say I fell madly in love with the style, with a handful of soured beer among my top 30 or so beers last year.

I had a runaway winner in the Gose category, and seven finalists in the contemporary dry-hopped section. I could have easily added more.

There were two versions of Changeling from Little Beasts on the list and two from Bellwoods as well.

Motley Cru 2018 - Black Raspberry and Jelly King - Strawberry Rhubarb (Bellwoods) were both delicious, as was Changeling - Peach Apricot and Changeling - Cherry from Little Beasts. Full marks to Blood Brothers for their Spiced Cherry - I put a good dent in at least two kegs at my local - and to Wellington (Little Current) and Fairweather (Dream Pop).

Winner(s): Changeling - Peach Apricot (Little Beasts) and Paradise Lost - Spiced Cherry (Blood Brothers) 

Gose - Gose with Guava (Collective Arts). The aroma is grapefruit, tartness and childhood memories. Brilliantly made beer.

The dark ales got some love in 2018 too, and I certainly wouldn't forget the Stouts and Imperial Stouts that get so much attention on beer rating sites. Especially now, in this most wintry of seasons that is the best time of the year to be a lover of all things dark.

There were two light Stouts that caught my attention in 2018: Build Women Up, a collaboration beer brewed by Town with TV personality Kate Campbell that helps support women in the trades, and Mystery Beer 'A,' part of a promotion from Nickel Brook that let customers choose the brewery's next beer.

Winner: Build Women Up (Town)

Five worthy (and big and beautiful) Imperial Stouts made my final cut, including two from Bellwoods. There was Bring Out Your Dead - with cacao nibs and hazelnut and Hellwoods from Bellwoods, as well as Petite Mort - Whisky (Dunham); Tempest (Amsterdam) and the legendary Canadian Breakfast Stout - Barrel-Aged from Founders, which was amazing. I'm especially glad I drank it from a bottle that still had a Mountie on it and, more importantly, that it was consumed before I learned about the culture of racism that appears to exist at the Michigan brewery.

Winner: Hellwoods (Bellwoods). Coffee, bitter chocolate and dark, possibly demonic, fruit. Hellishly good.

I'm starting to appreciate a well-made Saison now, and there were four that stood out for me in 2018. Little Beasts had two - the always awesome Sason D'ete and Really Good Friends, a beer brewed by Brewmaster Erin with the aforementioned Robin (The Thirsty Wench), Rene Navarro (Beer Diversity) and PFLAG Durham in support of the local LGBTQ community. Signal made a top notch beer in this style in Volt, and Barn Owl #11 from Bellwoods was pretty damn good as well.

Winner: Saison D'ete (Little Beasts) So simple. So good.

There was also a Sour Saison I really liked, so I put that in its own category.

Winner: Neon Lights (Town)

There were a few other beer styles I enjoyed last year, just less often.

Hefeweizen - Hasheeshian (Chronicle/Wave Maker) - A delicious one-off collaboration between Chronicle and still-not-quite-opened Wave Maker of Cambridge. Which meant my pal Jim Gorry (the former Head Brewer of Chronicle) got together with my other pal Matt Chellew, (now a Brewer at Wave Maker), to make a kick-ass beer.
English Mild - Hero's Handbag (Chronicle)
Brown Ale - Dark & Sticky IBA (Cameron's). Honourable mention to Redline's Leather Interiors.
Hoppy Lager - 12 Mile IPL (Cameron's) Honourable mention to The Cat's Away IPL (Great Lakes).
Abbey/Quad - Rochefort Trappiste 10. Honourable mention to 11.05 (Sawdust City/Collective Arts)
Abbey Dubbel - Chimay Red
Dortmund Lager - Mountain Lager (Side Launch). I finally listened to beer writer Ben Johnson, who has been raving about this beer for years, and tried one. I highly recommend his recommendation.
Kolsch - Absent Landlord (Cowbell)
Belgian Wit - Sticky Fingers (Town). Really tasty brew.
Barley Wine - Madness of Ophelia (5 Paddles). The 2016 version. (I think.)
Porter - Harry Porter (Great Lakes)

The big categories, including Best Brewer, Best Brewery and Best Beer, as well as a few others I will make up after a few more beers tonight, will be published tomorrow.

Or maybe the day after. One of these days, anyway.

Cheers!

The longest hangover ever

I don't get sick.

That's what I tell myself, though Facebook, with its handy flashback reminders, told me at this time four years ago that was a lie: "Day six of the Super Cold, or whatever they're calling it these days..."

So okay, I guess I get sick from time to time, though I always make it to work, though that says far more about economic necessity than any particular dedication to my craft.

But this virus has proven to be a formidable opponent. In fact, my antibodies have informed me that they've decided to pack it in, forcing me to resort to extreme rationalization to get my viral-fighting team back into the game.

I don't have the Swine Flu, I tell them, or even the Bubonic Plague, as one of my bleary-eyed and dog-tired antibodies suggested. I woke up feeling like shit at 4 a.m. on January 1 - about 90 minutes after falling asleep after a pretty awesome night of drinking with Candice on New Year's Eve - so I am not a victim of any virus.

I'm just suffering through the longest hangover of my entire life.

Today is Day 13, and while most of my symptoms have gone away, I still have a hacking cough, my body still aches and my energy levels have not fully returned to 2018 levels.

Is it a hangover?

We're not talking a very high bar here.

It could be worse, so I should be thankful for that. My stress levels were super high leading into the Christmas season, what with my car being essentially unsafe (bald tires, a driver side power window with no power and open to the elements and bumpers - front AND back - that would fall off when the wind got too gusty) and a credit card debt load that had soared past 'crippling' and screeched dangerously close to that point of no return called bankruptcy.

Throw in my every day depression and it's a wonder I was able to function at all.

Anyway, upon listening to the advice of friends less negative than myself, I paid a visit to my girl Caroline at the dealership where I found my last car and she was able to put me behind the wheel of a brand new vehicle, albeit a Chevrolet Spark, a model that is no bigger than a minute but with all its working parts.

And then I said, what the hell, let's go for broke and I paid a visit to my friendly neighbourhood TD bank, where my new pal Deven got me approved for a consolidation loan to reduce my monthly payments by a considerable margin.

On top of all that my boy Danny is setting me up with an interview with Lear in Ajax, which is steady hours and better pay, so there has been some really positive things happen to me since this viral hangover took over my life.

And still I hack my lungs out several times a day. Still I feel like shit. And still my treasonous antibodies refuse to pitch in and help me get better.

The worst thing about all this is my desire to drink beer - and I have a fridge full of fantastic beer - has been practically non-existent since New Year's Day. I'm up to seven as of this writing in the past two weeks; with most of those being consumed in the last three days.

Or is it the dreaded Swine Flu?

I don't remember signing up for Dry January...

More rest would be helpful, but I've getting plenty of hours in 2019, thanks to Darryl, that jovial, Jam lovin' (sugar-free), and Judicial former proprietor of my local in downtown Oshawa.

His OG Whitby location has been selling pork rinds by the truck load so he has me working in his pigskin factory three-four hours a day after I'm done at the landscaping job. What with the lack of snow and all, the two jobs combine to just make one regular full-time gig, so it's not like I'm over-worked.

Still, I could use the rest. especially with the super cold temperatures of late and with my contract-breaking antibodies on strike.

I'm been doing a few deliveries for Darryl as well, and one took me to Sawdust City Brewing in Gravenhurst - one of the stops on the memorable December 8 Barrie and Beyond Craft Brewery Invasion - with a car load of BBQ goodness for the brewery kitchen.

It's also where I had my first beer since New Year's Eve, a Let's Get B.I.S.A. Session Ale, which seemed appropriate considering I still had a long drive home ahead of me. The good thing about this virus extended hangover is that my sinus cavities have not been affected, so beer still smells and tastes great.

I just have no desire to have more than one.

Speaking of my local, Darryl may have sold Buster Rhino's in Oshawa last month, but new ownership re-opened the place (with booths!) on New Year's Day as Top Corner, and they brought my three favourite servers in the whole world with them. I popped in the day before opening (and the day before The Sickness) and promised Sarah and Shanice I would be there the next night to help celebrate new beginnings.

It would be ten days before I finally found the energy to see the new place.

Ten Days!

I still wasn't one hundred per cent, but I couldn't put it off any longer. Besides, on the off chance this wasn't a hangover and actually was some sort of Super Flu, I was no longer a carrier of the disease, so my friends (if they were there) should be safe.

Actual images of my antibodies giving up and leaving
my body. Traitors.

They were there. Sarah and Shanice were working the bar and on the other side was Brittni, her new beau (his name was 'Babe' or 'Travis,' not sure which) and my pal Jeff.

It was like I never left.

So I had a couple of beers, we chilled for a bit and then we broke out the cards for a few games of Euchre.

And Brittni had the audacity to ask me if she thought it was wise to partner with Travis for the first game. "You should partner with me Britt," I answered. "If you want to win."

I missed this so much.

Tomorrow marks two weeks with this hangover, and I'm hoping I wake up in the morning feeling fresh as a daisy and looking twice as pretty.

I'm two beers in as I write this, so that's a start. And I'm also in a forgiving mood, so if any of my antibodies are reading this, you are welcome back.

I may need you in the near future.

Cheers!

The Barrie (and Beyond) beer scene steals my liver heart

You know that feeling you got when you were a kid and you skipped school to hang with your friends, 'borrowed' your brother's car to go to Buffalo for the weekend (sorry Brian) or hosted that wild party after your folks explicitly told you not to?

It was always a euphoric mix of guilt and happiness, and if you were of strong mind, it was shame free as well. Which was not always easy if you were a less than well adjusted teen like I was.

Most of the time, if you were a good boy, that little voice in your head (sounding exactly like Jiminy Cricket) could usually hold its own against that other voice (sounding exactly like Shia Labeouf saying "just doooo it!") but this time, Jiminy knew he was beat.

I was going to Barrie to drink beer with my friends, and Jiminy was coming with.

And, as I discovered a couple of Saturdays ago on my way to cottage country for the Barrie (and Beyond) Craft Brewery Invasion 2018, sneaking away for a good time with your pals gets a LOT easier when you are older.

The Brew Crue reunited

This trip was going to be a reunion of the Whitby Craft Brewery Invasion 2017, one year (almost to the day) of that super cool awesome event.

The same seven peeps were on board - Don, Hago, Josh, Candice, Joe, Paul and myself - and I was looking forward to the Brew Crue trip for months.

So when I saw the snow - at least five centimetres worth - on my driveway as I prepared to head to work at five that morning for my (scheduled) three-hour shift, I was more than a little worried this snow was going to be a problem for me.

See, my friends were expecting me by nine a.m. at the latest (the four Oshawa-based Brew Crue were all headed north in Josh's van) and there was no way I was going to let a few inches of the white stuff stop me from another epic adventure with my friends.

There would be flashing, there would be (multiple) stories involving asses - heart-shaped, moon-shaped and otherwise - there would be great beer served by fantastic people, and there would be a ton of memories created.

I wasn't missing this for a few inches of snow.

So at nine a.m., with one plaza shovelled and salted and ready for Christmas shoppers and my boy Ethan set up at our second plaza with his marching orders, I punched out, left a message for my boss and headed for Oshawa and my rendezvous with beer-soaked shenanigans in Barrie.

Consequences be damned, #sorrynotsorry and all that.

Don, Josh and myself in the kick-ass limo
(sorry, GMC Yukon XL) that Hago rented
for the weekend

Thirty minutes later I'm in the van with Josh, Candice and Joe and we were cruising north towards Barrie, with a song in my heart, a spring in my step and an insatiable thirst to get this show on the road.

An insatiable thirst, anyway, though quenching it would have to wait until we got to the limo, which was actually a eight-passenger GMC Yukon XL.

But I digress.

The ride up to Barrie was a blast, highlighted by Candice's story of road-not-quite rage on a trip with friends to Montreal a few years back that climaxed with our girl showing off her butt cheeks to a very surprised group of fellow travellers.

It's a story I dubbed (very appropriately) Clap, Finger, Moon.

I know Candice's driving, uh ... style, first hand, but this time she was riding shotgun and her crew this day was getting close to the Quebec border when they got behind a family who were driving a bit too slow for her liking. So when they finally sped up Candice gave them an exaggerated 'clap' when the opportunity presented itself.

Matt, our most excellent host at Barnstormer

After a pit stop that gave the family the lead again, they took that opportunity to give Candice the 'finger,' which prompted her to press her ass to the window and give them the most epic response.

There was more to the story (which took nearly a hour to tell, mostly because Joe kept interrupting), involving cops and some such, but that's for another day. Or maybe not.

In any event, we had arrived, and only about 30 minutes late (thanks to me), which Hago insisted was not a problem, despite his very military-like itinerary that had us arriving at Barnstormer Brewing - our first stop - kind of like now.

No worries, said our military man, as we all piled into the limo (I'm just going to go ahead and call it a limo for the rest of the story, as it makes any mention of open alcohol much more legal-like) and headed to Barnstormer.

We were greeted at the door by Matt, one of Barnstormer's brewers and our host on what would be an ambitious five-brewery day that would take us to two counties, three towns and many, many glasses of great craft beer.

I guess that last part was a given.

I only see Hago once a year so we got
some catching up to do

Hago picked Barnstormer to lead off this adventure because the kitchen was strong and he believed we needed fuel for our bellies (fish and chips for me) to fend off the alcohol to come.

Good call Hago.

Naturally, as the brewery is named after WW1 pilots who, with surplus Biplanes on the cheap after the war, started 'barnstorming' across the country performing daredevil stunts, growing great moustaches AND kick-starting commercial aviation, we all had 'flights' of the brewery's offerings, right?

Guess only Candice and I thought of it. The rest of the heathens all had pints. I can understand the thought of getting a flight at an aviation-themed brewery being lost on my pal Don - when we went to J School together a million years ago he was already middle-aged and he is positively ancient now - but the others?

Heathens. But the best kind.

My notes were wet and soggy - as usual - so I only remember Flight Delay IPA and Accelerated IIPA, and there might have been a Pilsner as well. Candice's order is also lost to the ether, but I recalled the flight number: 1-5-7-9. Go figure.

I gotta start recording notes on my phone like all the kids (and Don) do these days.

So we ate and drank while Matt regaled us with stories about the history of barnstorming and about Betty, the somewhat controversial 40s-style pin-up girl that remains an integral part of the brewery's branding.

And then Matt brought out samples of a yet-unnamed and "not quite ready" 7.5 per cent brew that was dubbed  - quite accurately - "stouterrific" by our genial host.

Hago with Sarah, Muskoka Brewery's most awesome
Digital Marketing Specialist. Sarah took real good care of us

Smoky, quite rich and delicious. Tasted ready to me.

The long drive to Bracebridge was next, so we piled back into the limo with our beer buys and headed north to stop number two: Muskoka Brewery.

That's when Hago took over the story telling mantle, while we happily passed around bottles from Manantler, Town and Little Beasts - party favours, I called them - and cans of Chocolate Milk Stout from Brock Street, courtesy of Josh, Oshawa's Greatest Carpenter.

Don (who still remembers the original) calls him Jesus.

Anyway, we were all having a great time partying like rock stars when Hago told the tale of the Heart Shaped Ass, which took us back a few years to a Foo Fighters concert at the Rogers Centre in Toronto.

Seems a young lady wanted a better view of the band performing Everlong during the encore so she climbed on her boyfriend's shoulders. There being alcohol and other substances involved, they asked Hago (a total stranger) if he could put his hand in the small of her back to prevent any possible disaster.

The Muskoka Survival Pack that was
gifted us by Sarah, who is most certainly
NOT the social media voice of Mad Tom

So Hago watched the encore with a perfect, "heart-shaped" bum in his face the entire song. "Dave Grohl sang that song to me through her ass. I wasn't complaining at all."

It was also a great story to help us pass the time as Dan, our (very) patient Air Force driver, piloted us through the majestic Canadian Shield landscape that was our route from Barrie to Bracebridge and Muskoka Brewery.

And we couldn't have picked a better time to go, as it was Winter Village at Muskoka, with local businesses and artisans taking over the brewery for the day.

If you wanted arts & crafts, snacks (beer cookies, anyone?), entertainment or just a delicious beer, this was the place to be.

Did I mention beer cookies? I think I did, and they were so good I visited the booth twice. I bought another cookie the second time 'round, but the real reason for stopping by Granny Lyn's Kitchen - "Homemade With Love" - was to thank Murray, my affable beer cookie salesman, for going way above and beyond the call of duty and returning the keys my dumbass had left behind.

I was already around the corner amidst a thick throng of people when the man caught up with me. Talk about going the extra mile, or at least a couple hundred feet.

Thank you, Murray.

I eventually made it to the other side of the brewery where most of the Brew Crue were chilling betwixt and between a ping-pong table and a bar, where Muskoka was doing a brisk business selling Ebb & Flow, their new 2.4 per cent Session Sour.

Sawdust City Adam

It's also where we ran into Sarah, Muskoka's boss of Digital Marketing and where we had our first beer-related accident.

With a ping-pong table on my left, I happily challenged Joe to a match, which we played with drinks in one hand and paddle in the other. So I naturally smashed my first return to Joe's left, which he promptly try to volley with the hand holding the glass of beer and great hilarity ensued.

No one was harmed during "the incident" - though one woman gave Joe us a dirty look - and we made sure the proper cleaning authorities were alerted.

Sarah, who showed up a few minutes after the clean-up, just laughed, and gifted us with an armful of Survival Packs containing six of Muskoka's finest beers (plus an Ebb & Flow) and a beer glass.

We then unanimously declared we loved Sarah, even though there were whispers that she was, in fact, the voice of 'Mad Tom,' the crusty, curmudgeonly and top secret Twitter account that is (possibly) unsupported and unsanctioned by the brewery itself.

'Mad Tom' himself chimed in two days later on Twitter, declaring that Sarah was an "imposter," and that the "closest I'd get to you buffoons is never. I can't wait to burn your stupid articles."

No way that's Sarah, I replied. She's going to LOVE our stupid articles. Even Grampa Don's.

One gift shop stop later (where I left my keys behind again. Thank you Candice!) we were back in the limo and headed to nearby Gravenhurst, home of the legendary Sawdust City Brewery.

This picture taught me that Candice loves barrel-aged beer
and that she has mad selfie skills

This was a brewery that has always been on my bucket list. It's the home of Lone Pine and Twin Pine IPAs, as well as a humongous beer fridge and the world's largest Muskoka Chair, which would presumably make it even bigger than Muskoka Brewing's own over-sized Muskoka Chair.

That little tidbit of intel was a challenge to Josh and Candice, the youngest members of the squad, who climbed the snow-covered chair with little difficulty.

Not-so-young Joe (at least he's younger than Don) also reached the summit, though it was touch and go for a while and the trip down the chair had a rescue team on hand. Just in case.

We were met inside by Sawdust City Adam, who appears to perform almost every task at the brewery (#heisdueforaraisesam) and would take us around the place on a proper tour before depositing us at the bar to get our drinks in.

The highlight of the tour - as well as the Sad Emoji Moment - was in the basement, where Sawdust City's barrel program is born and raised. There were nearly 50 barrels in total, including one that nearly made me cry: a barrel of 11.05 that had become infected and was sentenced to drain pour.

11.05 is annual collaboration celebrating the shared birthdays of Sawdust City Brewmaster Sam Corbeil and Nickel Brook/Collective Arts wonderboy Ryan Morrow. This year's version (11.05 per cent, natch) is a Belgian Quad with oak and cherries and I have deliberately held onto my lone can to honour the sacrifice made by that infected beer.

Here are Candice and Josh at the snow-covered peak,
having conquered the world's largest Muskoka
Chair at Sawdust City Brewing 

I will remember.

From to the cellar to the bar for the Crue, and I found myself sitting with Candice and Paul and enjoying the moment, as well as a flight of Let's Get B.I.S.A. (a Belgian-inspired Session Ale), Lone Pine, Long, Dark Voyage to Uranus and a guest pale ale from Thunder Bay's Sleeping Giant Brewery.

The next stop on our itinerary was the drive back to Barrie and the Four Points Sheraton, where the plan was to check in, have a shower and sober up a bit for dinner and the final two destinations: Redline and Flying Monkeys.

The fact we made it back to Dan and the limo almost on schedule but not really any more sober - Paul breaking out the high-test stuff in the hotel didn't help - was close enough to a win for me.

I love it when a plan comes together.

Oh, and there was flashing as well, as Candice spotted Don having a smoke in the parking below the hotel room and gave the old man an eyeful. I thought it was a brilliant idea, so I did the same, except I wasn't wearing a bra underneath, so I gave him TWO eyefuls.

Actually, I think I'll leave this part out of the story.

Anyway, our penultimate brewery (and our destination for dinner) was next, and Redline Brewhouse would be the one I was most looking forward to visiting.

The amazing Kaitlyn and Dex from
Redline Brewhouse

Redline's beers - notably Double Clutch Imperial IPA and the decidedly more sessionable but just as tasty Clutch - have always been in my wheelhouse so this south-end brewery was a must see for me.

Turned out this sentiment was shared by several other Brew Crue members.

And we got the 'special' VIP treatment at Redline. That is, we got treated at every stop like royalty, but at Redline we were pirated in from an alley at the back door.

That's either Special VIP or "let's sneak these drunken bastards in the back way so no one sees them."

Either way I felt special.

There was one not-so-small complication, however. Paul took a tumble in the alley upon exiting the limo and turned an ankle pretty bad, making the simple act of walking difficult and painful. But, with a little help from his friends and the understanding of Kaitlyn, Redline's extra awesome Sales Manager, Paul soldiered on.

Which was excellent news for all of us, as Kaitlyn had prepared a table laden with delicious brews for us to try. There was the Double Clutch/Clutch tandem, a Brown Ale called Leather Interiors and a few barrel-aged beauties as well.

Grampa Don with Paul from Redline.
If you see Don, ask him how he got that blue in
that award-winning (and bitchin') stache.

Kaitlyn was soon joined by Dex, who has 12 or so titles at Redline, and the two of them took us through the tasting session before passing us off to Paul for a tour of the brewing section.

An entertaining and informative tour it was, a fact I mentioned to Kaitlyn
when the tour was complete. "He's not even a brewer," she said of Paul. "But we're lucky to have him."

I should say so.

Dinner was next, and this time it was Joe on hand to make sure we were well taken care of.

Like I said: Special VIP Treatment.

We decided to make a pit stop at the hotel before we hit up Flying Monkeys, our final brewery of the day. What with Paul's bum ankle and a few other (possibly alcohol-related) complications, it was a compact squad of four - Josh, Candice, Hago and myself - that completed the mission by cruising to downtown Barrie.

Good call gentlemen.

The downside of that decision was Don didn't get to meet Peter and Andrea Chiodo, the owners of this legendary brewery. My Beer Bro and college chum has chatted with Andrea, who handles social media for the Monkeys, many, many times but they had yet to connect.

For what it's worth, I didn't get to meet them either. I saw both of them, and Andrea spoke at length with us, but she was speaking to the other side of the table and frankly, I thought Andrea was another staffer or perhaps a very friendly regular.

This pic of Hago and Josh perfectly captures
the super cool ambiance at Flying Monkeys
Brewing, as well the state of inebriation at
this, our final stop of the day

Oopsie. Next time, then.

In any event, the four of us were treated royally, as we had been treated all day.

I could definitely get used to this.

I had more than my share of beer by this time, so I opted for something sessionable. Smart, huh? And then the Invictus came out. An 18 per cent monster of a Bourbon barrel-aged Russian Imperial Stout also know as Good God Man - What are you Drinking?, this brew would have been enough to put me on my ass all by itself.

So I settled for a 5-ounce pour.

And then the Viva Rose (I think that's what they called it) arrived at the table. A mash of the brewery's 12 Minutes To Destiny Hibiscus Pale Lager and their Chocolate Manifesto Triple Chocolate Milk Stout, this was a pretty potent brew in its own right.

So I enjoyed just a 5-ounce pour of that too. And then I glanced across the table at Candice, who was happily drinking a full pint of the stuff.

Jeebus.

But all good things must come to an end, and after waiting for Candice to finish her glass - "Is it time to go already?" - we exited to Dan and the waiting limo with one thing on our collective minds: sleep.

The next day, this rag-tag but well rested bunch rose at the cheerful hour of 10 or so to go to breakfast at Deb's Place, because there's nothing better than a deliciously greasy plate of bacon and eggs to ward off the hangover spirits.

Except for Candice, who stayed in the limo to catch up on her sleep as she didn't get much the night before. "I kept kept getting drunker during the night," she complained.

What's left of the Brue Crew after breakfast
on Sunday. A capper to a wonderful weekend.

Grampa Don was missing as well, because he 'phantomed' in the morning before I could give him his care package of beer I brought from home. I'm guessing Don wanted a head start on drinking all his Barrie and Beyond beers he brought with him. Or maybe the senior's centre where he lives has a curfew, I dunno.

But to paraphrase Shakespeare. I come to praise Ceasar Don, not to bury him. He and Hago did an absolutely fantastic job of organizing (and bankrolling) this adventure and their efforts will not be forgotten.

Praise of the highest order also goes out to Barnstormer Brewing & Distilling, Muskoka Brewery, Sawdust City Brewing, Redline Brewhouse and Flying Monkeys Craft Brewery. Your collective hospitality was amazing and we thank you from the bottoms (and the tops) of our hearts.

All that was left for me was to face the music at the work the next day for leaving early on Saturday to make my connection to this epic party.

But I'm a big boy. My 'punishment' was not something I couldn't handle and I can categorically state that I REGRET NOTHING. It was all worth it.

Cheers!

No touque for Dimitri

My cousin Steve, a TFC season ticket holder (and part-time hockey ref), wished me a happy birthday on the annointed day, and then had a moment of absolute clarity.

"I should give my pair of tickets to TFC's final game to my beloved cousin who I see every two years as a birthday present," said Steve (not to be confused with my other cousin Steve) just minutes after wishing me birthday greetings on Facebook.

The actual text of his message was actually pretty close to that: Hey, I know the season is a wash, but I can't go to the TFC finale this Sunday as I officiate hockey and have 4 games. As a BD gift would you like them cuz?

So of course I said yes. Even though it had been a hugely disappointing season for the defending MLS Cup champions - they were eliminated from playoff contention a month ago - it's still a TFC game, and I'm still a fan.

Dimitri and I at the TFC game. I may look
funny wearing glasses but damn! I look good
in my official TFC touque.

And it was Touque Day.

The first 10,000 fans get a free TFC touque. That sounded very doable and though I don't often wear hats, I'm always up for free stuff.

I asked my buddie Steve (not my actual cousin) if he wanted to go to the match - I've taken him to several previous soccer games - but he was watching his grandson. Number One Son Matt was next in the queue, but his daughter was coming over to spend the afternoon so he was out. His brother Cam? Working nights, he sadly informed me.

So I went to Plan B and asked my now former work pal Dimitri - who had never been to BMO Field - if he was up for the game. Dimitri, who was perfectly okay with being fourth - "aww, I was right after family" - said he'd love to go.

Especially after he heard it was Touque Day.

So after picking him up just after lunch Sunday and getting fuelled for the GO Train ride down to BMO 10/17-style (hey! It was an historic week), we drove down to the station. And promptly missed our train by seconds because I wasted a precious few too many of them trying to buy my ticket at one of those damn ticket vending machines.

Dimitri, meanwhile just swiped his Presto card and he's in and waiting for me, but the train started moving as we got to the tracks so we knew it was too late.

"Let's catch it at Whitby," says Dimitri, so we run (Dimitri)/hobble (me) back to my car (four hundred metres away) and I put on my racing goggles as I prepared to outrun a train.

Great plan, but the 401 wasn't co-operating and we could see the train on our left not getting any closer, so I decided to skip Whitby and head off the train in Ajax.

And missed it by seconds again.

"We could have beaten it to Pickering," Dimitri ventures, but I'm already done racing trains, I told him. "Dude. We're going to a brewery."

Cousin Steve moonlighting on
winter weekends

Can you blame me? I'm not going to beat a GO Train and Falcon Brewery was so close. And I was thirsty. We'll catch the next train in an hour, I told my young friend. Plenty of time to still be among the first 10,000 fans at BMO, right? Right?

So we whiled away forty minutes or so at Falcon, sipping on a Munition IPA while watching the whitest band ever assembled rock out a string of country/rock/folk hits at Open Mic.

It's not that they were bad - it was actually quite enjoyable - but with an average age of about 70 and the stage presence worthy of the undead it was a bit of a soulless experience. I swore the guitarist, who played in the sitting position, was either sleeping or worse until I saw his fingers move.

A bit of fun nonetheless, but with trains to catch and no luck so far catching them, we were soon on our way.

Having missed the 1:41 train to Exhibition Station, we made the 2:41 and arrived at the stadium with an hour to spare before game time; plenty of time for a friendly BMO staffer to assist me in finding our 'tickets' on my phone.

As I have said in this space before, I so need help.

Anyway, we make it inside but there was not a hat to be found. "Did we miss the touques?" I ask another friendly staffer, not quite believing we weren't among the first 10,000 fans.

TFC striker Sebastian Giovinco

"Sorry sir. They're all gone."

The look of disappointment must have been obvious, because a man to my right - possibly another friendly BMO employee, possibly just an empathetic soul - pressed a touque in my hands. "Last one," he said.

"Thank you," I said. "But you don't have another one for my friend?"

"That's it bud."

Sorry Dimitri. No touque for you.

We continued on our tour of the stadium, looking for food and more importantly, beer. Nothing but macro brews at BMO, but a Mill Street West Coast IPA for me and a Hopped and Confused Session Ale for Dimitri hit the spot nicely.

We also ran into one of those credit card people in the concourse. You know, sign up for our card - and who doesn't need more crippling credit card debt, am I right? - and we give you a gift. In this case, a soccer ball.

And I wanted a soccer ball.

So I signed on the dotted line (the card is in the mail) and turned to Dimitri. "You can get a ball too."

No ID. No soccer ball for Dimitri either.

The crowd at BMO Field on most match days

But we had beer, and settled in to our seats to watch TFC's final game of the season against Atlanta, a team that could have broken our single season points record with a victory or a tie.

So the boys had something besides pride to play for and they put together a clinic for 90 minutes, thoroughly dismantling Atlanta 4-1, thanks to goals by Lucas Janson (2), Marky Delgado and the Atomic Ant himself, Sebastian Giovinco.

Too bad they couldn't have done that on a more consistent basis during the rest of the season. And too bad New York Red Bulls - one point behind Atlanta in the race for the Supporters Shield going into the match - won their last game to eclipse TFC's record anyway.

The record lasted just one year.

But on the bright side, I have brand new soccer ball. And an authentic TFC touque.

Sorry Dimitri.

Beer & Bacon in the Shwa-Eh

If the immediate economic impact of a fledgling beer festival is the true measure of success, the Beer & Bacon Shwa-Eh held October 19-20 at Children's Arena in Oshawa was a bit of a dud.

Crowds were thin for both days, despite a stellar musical lineup and enough delicious local beer to keep me happy. And judging from the looks on the faces of the brewers and vendors in attendance, everyone took a bit of a bath on this one.

I, however, had a great time, and that's what really matters, am I right?

In fairness to Bowmanville's KCC Event Productions, who hosted three successful butter tart festivals in Durham last year, the timing for the beer festival was bad. They did a lot of promotion on Facebook and other social media, but a sign blitz immediately before the festival - the final weekend before the municipal election - fell flat amidst a sea of campaign signs plastered all over the city.

Josh and I. Birthday fam for life

On the bright side, Beer & Bacon Shwa-Eh garnered a couple hundred write-in votes for Mayor of Oshawa.

Just playing. It was only a couple dozen.

(KCC may want to also consider reverting back to the original name of the event - Beer & Bacon Festival, as the 'Shwa-Eh' addendum - particularly the 'Eh' - is a bit tired, but that could be just me.)

Seven brewers stuck around for the two days, along with a half-dozen vendors inside the arena and three food trucks in the parking lot. Not a lot of bacon-y products but plenty of beer for us thirsty masses.

My birthday bro Josh and I decided to take in the festival on the Saturday:  two days before our shared birthday.

Now I've known Josh since he was knee high to a grasshopper, fresh off the boat from Bristol, England, and ever since he came of age we've talked about celebrating our birthday together but our plans oft go awry, as ol' Robbie would say.

(Consecutive blogs quoting Robbie Burns. My Sons of Scotland dues should be on the house this year.)

So this year we decided we would have a drink or 12 together, albeit two days before the date. And what better venue for the celebration than a beer festival?

As it was just three days after cannabis was legalized in this country - 10/17 is the new 4/20 - we were sufficiently mellow when we arrived at Children's Arena for the event.

You could probably squeeze 400 or more people on the arena floor but there was never more than 70 or 80 festival goers in the time we were there, so that was disappointing, but friends Linda and John were there, so that was not.

My pal Matt from Manantler Brewing was in the house, so my once-and-always favourite brewery became my first stop. And my second, with Creamed by Bickell in my glass, followed by Ketchin Zeez, while I caught up with Matt on all things beer.

Drink number three was Eye of Sauron, a Sour from Chronicle Brewing, and after a quick chat with brewery owner Ted I returned to my table and the friends I had abandoned.

The talented Sarah Fazackerley

We talked about Trump, and I lamented the state of journalism in the world of 'fake' news; and we also talked about local brewers - good and bad. Linda and John are both experienced home brewers, so their opinions were something I valued.

The subject of the legalization of weed also came up, and the prevailing opinion (mine, anyway) was that the bloom had already fallen off that rose. Marijuana, we agreed, was not really legal. Just 'controlled.'

I knew they'd screw this up.

Rant over, I hit up Cameron's next and their First Light Session Lager, a four per cent beer that was top notch. I liked this one a lot and said so to Andrea at the booth, and we had a brief chat about the attendance at the festival.

"A little slow last night?" I ventured, "Meh," she replied with as much diplomacy as she could muster. "We're hoping for better things tonight."

Brock Street and their Bohemian Pilsner was next on my agenda and then I settled back in my chair for the entertainment, namely Justin Cooper, a guitarist/singer from Oshawa.

Justin, who (with his fellow musician buddy Greg) would join our table later, started off covering Ed Sheeran and Garth Brooks before bringing in the uber talented Sarah Fazackerley on flute for a country-rock cover of New Orleans is Sinking by the Tragically Hip.

Musicians Justin and Greg with the very
silvery King himself

I can tell you that this number - the greatest song in rock 'n roll, in my humble opinion - made me sit up and take notice. It took half a minute to get used to Justin's version but by the end I was really digging it, thanks in no small part to Sarah's flute playing.

Sarah took over the stage next (with Justin helping out on the beat box) and performed Sublime's What I Got before killing it with a soulful cover of Jolene, the song that made Dolly Parton a star.

Problem was no one, except our table, seemed to be paying attention.

Between sets Sarah came by for a chat with Josh, who she remembered from nights performing at the Atria in downtown Oshawa, back when my boy was booking acts and working sound for the club.

I needed more beer, so back I went into the breach, hitting up Chronicle again for their Harvest Ale and Falcon Brewery for ... damn, I didn't write it down and don't remember.

It was good, though.

Next up was Bancroft Brewery for their Black Quartz Dark Ale.

Owner Logan - a super nice guy - promised a "smoky coffee" flavour and he wasn't wrong, as I got campfire smoke and bitter coffee.

We chatted about the festival - he just shrugged when he looked at the sparse crowd, pointing out it was "the same last night" - and we talked long enough for me to try another of his beers. Ironman was an IPA that Linda had said was "really malty, but really good" and it was indeed, very British and pretty damn good.

As I had hit up every brewer - some twice - and I still had tickets left, I decided I'd plunk down a token at the Oshawa Brewing Company booth. I wanted to see if the beers had improved since I sampled them at Buster Rhino's shortly after this Brew-Your-Own business became a brewery a few months back.

Still some carbonation issues but Mango Sensation was fruity on the nose with plenty of mango. It tasted like mango fruit juice, so I guess that's something.

And then it was time for Sarah's second set, which included rousing renditions of Son of a Preacher Man and Go Ask Alice and an original tune called Say Nothing that was seriously fantastic.

I still had two more tickets - thanks to Josh - but as my legs were getting wobbly and I was starting to leave my sample glass in strange places, I figured these to be my last.

I had a Black & Tan (a mix of Creamed by Bickell and Ketchin Zeez) at the Manantler booth and finished with something from Bancroft (probably another Ironman) before heading out to the parking lot for a nosh (a monstrous grilled cheese sandwich called a Big Daddy) to fuel me for the ten minute wobble walk home.

All in all, not a bad pre-birthday bash. Thanks Josh!

Cheers!