In praise of my mentor (the man who puts the 'D' in D B &G) 

I was asked more than once about my recent weekend plans and my answer was always the same: I was heading for the border to do a beer run.

I wasn't lying - I brought my passport, crossed the border and bought U.S. craft beer at the Consumer's Beverages outlet in Niagara Falls - but I was being a little disingenuous as well.

The real truth is the border crossing was just a little extra bonus on the day; something I did because I am genetically incapable of pulling off the highway if I am within an hour of the American border.

My ultimate destination was the sprawling ground floor estate in Burlington (40 minutes from the border), better known in this space as Donny's Bar & Grill, home of Don (natch), my pal, my Beer Bro and my mentor.

That mentor thing might alarm some people, but it's the gosh-honest truth. Don was the man who guided me into the world of craft beer less than three years ago (thanks man!), but really, I have been following his lead for much longer than that.

Our first broadcast journalism assignment at Humber College in the early 80s was to produce an interview and present it to class. I was pretty shy back then (not to mention clueless around television equipment) so Don took me by the hand  (metaphorically) and we went into the nearest washroom to interview ... a urinal. Jim Bard, our instructor and the only man at Humber funnier than Don (his Kraft Dinner humour column for the Coven newspaper was a classic) didn't specifically say interview a person, Don argued. So I would ask a question, Don would pull the flush lever and...well, you get the idea.

Don in his element: beer in hand

When the 'interview' was played  in class Jim did not even glance my way. Instead, he looked straight at Don. "You put him up to this, didn't you?!"

Our college days were full of such touching 'mentoring' stories, but most would get at least one of us in trouble and I can't remember them too well anyway. It was the eighties, we were in college, there was alcohol ...

There was that time we talked our way into a Miller beer marketing event, ate steak, drank free beer all night while watching Don 'sing' on stage with Louise Mandrell, and stole a six-foot beer sign on wheels and took it home on the subway. But that tale has been told before and I re-tell it only to show the depths Don will plumb to show me the right way to growth and maturity.

I followed Don after college too, all the way to Kenora in the wilds of northwestern Ontario, where he showed me how to properly trash a hotel room (Sorry Kenricia Hotel) and how not to charm the local girls (Don: it's not your fault she wasn't a fan of Bob & Doug Mackenzie!). He also introduced me to sports writing and when Don went home - he discovered Kenora and its minus 40 winters were not to his liking - I took over his Sports Editor position.

And when I came home to Toronto a year or so later (having left my leased car in a ditch up there) it was my pal who offered freelance writing opportunities at the Bloor West Villager newspaper to keep me busy until another full-time gig presented itself.

(I should explain that these freelance stories were not paid in cash, as his boss, the late, great - colourful, anyway - Verner Kure, loved smoked fish, Molson Stock Ale and not paying his freelancers. Instead, Don would take me next door to Shakey's, a bar owned by former Toronto Maple Leaf Mike 'Shakey' Walton, and square up our account with beer.)

Pineapple Sculpin from Ballast Point

Ghettoblaster - a Detroit-style
Mild Ale from Motor City

By the time the 90s rolled around I fell out of Don's sphere of influence as marriages (two each), kids and distance got in the way. But we kept in touch - especially when Facebook came around - and when he discovered craft beer in 2013 I quickly jumped ship from Brava to Smashbomb Atomic IPA and followed him into this brave new world.

Now I make the trip from Oshawa to Burlington five or six times a year to see my pal. Usually these visits are planned around border crossings, but this one was different: he messaged me and said he was free the following Saturday and would I care to come down and drink beer?

Why yes, Don. Don't mind if I do.

So I did the border crossing, picking up some Pineapple Sculpin (Ballast Point), a few Enjoy By and Ruination from Stone Brewery - the Brewery That Can Do No Wrong - six Hop Nosh Tangerine IPA (Uinta), six Rampant (New Belgium) and a bottle of Space Cake IIPA (Clown Shoes) before heading back to Burlington and DB&G's.

We drank a few of my beers before deciding it best we emptied Don's fridge first.

We started with Ghettoblaster, a 3.8 per cent Detroit-style Mild Pale Ale that was part of a gift from Don's pal Cheesy. This beer smelled like it wasn't going to be any better than just okay, with sweet malts and a little spice., but it was a lot better than I expected. Very sweet tasting for sure (like drinking caramel) with a pleasing bitterness. And I went home with a Detroit Beer Company glass, so win-win.

With the City of Detroit top of mind, we talked about the passing of a mutual hero, the legendary Gordie Howe. We both had Gordie stories, though his came with a picture as proof. I only got to stand in Mr. Hockey's shadow for a few minutes, too afraid to interrupt the talkative uber fan who had his undivided attention.

First Ali, then Howe. It was a tough month for my sporting heroes.

Donnie with one of his mentors, the
legendary Gordie Howe, who we lost last month

We also talked about Tragically Hip front man Gord Downie, who was diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer and is taking the band on a final tour this summer. After two days of trying I managed to outwit the scalpers and score a single ticket to one of the Toronto shows next month and I think most of Canada will be tuned in to the CBC August 20 for the band's final performance from Kingston.

And how Canadian is that?

We eventually got back to talking about beer and the brews I brought, with Pineapple Sculpin from Ballast Point next on the agenda. I love my Sculpins, having now enjoyed three of the variations of this seven per cent San Diego hop bomb, and this one was damn good, though it didn't really deliver on its pineapple promises. It smelled and tasted fruity, but I just didn't get the pineapple. Still delicious.

Space Cake, a  Double IPA from Clown Shoes (Ipswich, Massachusetts) was our transition to the big beers, as this brew clocked in at nine per cent ABV. It was all pine and tropical fruit on the nose, with more of the same - along with some mango - on the tongue. Very good.

Rampant was up next, an 8.5 per cent Double IPA from New Belgium of Colorado, one of America's best breweries. This was very good, with stone fruit and tropical citrus on the nose. It tasted like fresh grapefruit in a pine forest, with a little caramel malt on the side. Smooth but with a big bite. Balanced and bitter.

We tried the Hop Nosh IPA and this smelled delicious, with lots of bitter citrus like orange zest and tangerine. That and a little sweetness on the tongue, especially mandarin orange. My first tangerine IPA - I’m a fan.

We also found time to polish off a growler of Headstock - one of my all-time favourite IPAs - from Don's local brewery, Nickel Brook.

So it turned out we drank a fair bit, even though I was trying to pace myself, as a recent visit to DB&G's found me passed out early and at the mercy of a few of Don's friends. Not that I'm naming any names (*cough Marie and Cat *) nor that my good friend Don would be interested in those kinds of shenanigans (*cough yes he would*).

I worried for nothing. Around nine o'clock I heard something that sounded like snoring and there was Don, passed out on the chair. It's a rare day when I outlast him, so I basked in the glory for about 30 minutes before my eyes grew heavy and my chair became oh, so comfortable.

Coast to Coasters - a  collaborative Imperial
ESB from Flying Monkeys and friends

Space Cake IIPA from
Clown Shoes

Around two a.m. we both stirred and settled back on the patio for a nightcap: an Uber Berliner Raspberry Weisse from Nickel Brook. This was a sour beer, and the first sour  that met Don's approval. Me? Not so much. It had a powerful raspberry aroma and it tasted like punched up Raspberry Kool-Aid, with the sourness kicking in at the end. It delivered what it promised but I’m not a convert.

The too bright sunshine of the morning was welcomed with a big breakfast beer: Coast to Coasters, a Flying Monkeys collaboration with Phillips (B.C.), Garrison (Nova Scotia) and Trou du Diable (Quebec). My first Imperial ESB, this poured an impressive dark red with a thick and creamy head. There was lots of semi-sweet malts on the nose with a little plum, some caramel and a little bit of sweetness on the tongue. Hoppy as well. Very nice.

.All in all a great weekend - Don received the traditional U.S. mixed-six as a parting gift - and if you judge a good beer adventure by the number of new beers you discover along the way I had a hella good time at Donny's Bar & Grill. Nine brand new beers - nine! - were consumed on the Saturday while lounging on DB&G's sumptuous patio and through the week at the third floor loft back in Oshawa.

Add in all that mentoring from an old friend? Priceless.

All or Nothing goes all in at Trafalgar

Oshawa's All or Nothing Brewhouse is a contract brewer no longer.

All or Nothing Hopfenweisse

Founded two years ago by brothers Jeff and Eric Dornan and the makers of just one beer - the most excellent All or Nothing Hopfenweisse - the company just completed a purchase of Trafalgar Ales & Meads of Oakville and its sister companies Black Creek Historic Brewery and Trafalgar Distillery.

Jeff said the company will be making a "significant investment" in Trafalgar's 12,000 square-foot facility through the installation of a canning line and new fermentation tanks to enable them to produce craft beer, cider, mead and spirits under one roof.

The long term goal, he told the Oshawa Express newspaper, is to move the operation to Oshawa when the right facility (McLaughlin Armoury?) comes available.

Trafalgar, which has a 23 year history in Oakville, won seven awards at last year's Ontario Brewing Awards.

Sculpin vs Octopus - the undersea IPA Challenge

If there is one beer that kick-started my love affair with juicy, citrus-forward IPAs, it was Sculpin from Ballast Point Brewery of San Diego.

There have been other pretenders since my first taste of Sculpin a little more than two years ago, but none have been able to knock Sculpin off its perch at the top.

That's not to say Sculpin is the best India Pale Ale in the world or even my favourite. Ontario has some spectacular IPAs - Headstock from Nickel Brook and Smashbomb Atomic from Flying Monkeys, just to name two - that are on a par with Sculpin or even ahead in my highly subjective rating system.

But in that juicy citrus-forward sub-genre, Sculpin stood alone.

Until Great Lakes Brewery unleashed Octopus Wants to Fight, that is.

I loved this beer when it was released for the first time last year - in a large part because it reminded me of Sculpin - and I loved it even more this year. I simply couldn't get enough Octopus in my life: it was that good.

Sculpin - the Brad Pitt of the sea

So when I came back from a Niagara Falls, New York trip with six Sculpin in my back seat and the knowledge there were still four or five Octopus in my fridge, I knew there was only one way to settle the question.

It was  IPA Challenge time.

Normally I would put my money on an Octopus (even a drunken one) in a fair fight with a Sculpin, but this Sculpin has plenty of experience - especially in underwater ninja knowledge - so this could be a good scrap.

Using Rate Beer (the world's largest beer rating forum) as a template, I gave the challengers scores out of ten for aroma and taste; out of five for appearance and palate; and a overall score out of 20.

AROMA: Both are intoxicating, but where Sculpin is all grapefruit and orange, Octopus is mango and pineapple and more of it. Maybe the best smelling beer EVER.
Advantage: Octopus Wants to Fight

TASTE: The same aromas carry over to the taste and Octopus still comes off as bolder and hoppier. The margin for victory is less, but Octopus still carries the day.
Advantage: Octopus Wants to Fight

Whoo Hoo! a drunken, fighting Octopus for the win!

APPEARANCE: Both beers pour a hazy golden. They are almost identical, really, so this is a Draw

PALATE: Wow. The hops really shine all the way down for both beers. I'm tempted to give this one to Octopus, but it's so close I'm going to call this category a Draw

OVERALL: I don't know what a perfect beer is, so I can't give Octopus a 20 out of 20 but it's soooo good I'm going to give it a 19. The difference between the two brews is such that I should give Sculpin a 17, but it compares well to other beers I have scored 18 out of 20, so a score of 18 it is.

WINNER: Octopus Wants to Fight

Session IPAs do battle (in my mouth)

The warm weather means more attention to lighter, more sessionable beers, and no category of beer has grown as much in the past few years as Session IPAs.

No longer the little brother to the IPA, the new wave of Session IPAs may not bring the palate cleansing bitterness and substantial malt bill of its older siblings, but they are bringing the hops and in a big way.

In the past month I have tried four beers that fit into this category, so let's see which one is the best, shall we?

Founders All Day IPA (4.7 per cent) - This beer has been around the longest and has been a standard bearer for the style since its  introduction four years ago. It's all pine and citrus with some grassy notes on the nose. Beautifully balanced. I gave it a 4 out of 5.

Molson Canadian 67 (3 per cent) - There was a little fruitiness on the nose but very little hop character shows itself after that. Still, making a good three per cent beer is a mad skill - I’ve never had one that was good - so I wasn’t surprised. It was pleasantly, if blandly, drinkable. Hey, it's Molson: give them props for the effort. I scored it 3.2 out of 5.

GLB Sunnyside (3.9 per cent) - I didn't dig the aroma - there's grapefruit but the hops are muted - but it was much better on the tongue. Strong citrus flavours like lemon and grapefruit, with some pineapple and floral notes make this beer juicy and refreshing. Really smooth and easy drinking with almost no bitterness. Damn good for under four per cent. I gave it a 3.7 out of 5.

Rainhard Daywalker India Session Ale (3.9 per cent) - I had this on cask when I visited Rainhard on the occasion of their one-year anniversary party and I (naturally) took a bottle home with me. It smelled delicious: citrusy, yet creamy. It was tart, with plenty of lemon and some tropical fruit and a nice bitter finish. I scored it a 4 out of 5 and I could have gone higher.

I gave both All Day IPA and Daywalker honour marks of 4 out of 5, but when I factored  in the alcohol difference and the incredible tartness of Jordan Rainhard's creation, there could only be one champion.

Winner: Daywalker India Session Ale.

Remembering Ali

I was still in short pants when Muhammad Ali (then Cassius Clay) shocked the world by destroying Sonny Liston and winning the heavyweight boxing title in 1964. He was the golden boy in those days: Olympic gold medalist and then world champion. But that all changed when he converted to Islam and changed his name to Muhammad Ali and especially when he refused to fight in the Vietnam War, famously saying  he had "no quarrel with the Viet Cong."

He was stripped of his title and sentenced to five years in prison (he remained out on bail pending appeals) and lost three-and-a-half years of his prime boxing years, but when he returned to the ring he returned to a changed world. I had changed too, and Ali was my hero throughout my formative years.

I watched Ali in his three epic battles with Joe Frazier and his upset win over George Foreman. I was in his corner for the Thrilla in Manilla, for Rope-a-Dope and for Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee. I watched him in his decline as well, when the lure of the ring drew him back when he should have stayed away.

I also listened whenever he spoke. Unlike today's superstar athletes, Ali was not a 'brand.' He took a stand for something - always - and he spoke for the common man and woman of the world. He was without equal as the most famous person in the world and the world cried when he was diagnosed with Parkinson Disease.

The world also watched - as did I - when he, with trembling hands, lit the torch to mark the beginning of the Atlanta Olympics in 1996.

He was, quite simply, The Greatest. There will never be another like him.

Rest In Peace, Muhammad.

Border crossings, 12 bucks for 120 Minutes and why don't I live in San Diego?

Odds are when you drive 200 kilometres in quest of a single beer and you discover a 'sold out' sign on the shelf where the beer should be, it was a less than awesome day.

It's even worse when you have to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel, swim across crocodile-infested waters and brave a hail of gunfire from angry border agents just to get there.

But, maybe not so oddly enough, I discovered the trip was all worth it.

Such was the case a couple of weeks ago (except for the Niagara Falls-in-a-barrel, crocodiles and the "hail of gunfire" stuff - chalk it up to ... um ... mild hyperbole) when I made my first border crossing of 2016. Normally I do at least four of these cross-border beer shopping excursions a year, sometimes more, but with gas, exchange rates and duties, the trips are not cheap.

Especially for a guy in my snack bracket.

Sacrifices have to eventually be made however and when I heard about a Tangerine IPA from Stone Brewing, aka The Brewery That Can Do No Wrong - I knew I had to go and get it.

No Enjoy By to enjoy on this day

Part of Stone's Enjoy By series of IIPAs released four or five times a year, this 9.4 per cent pureed tangerine-infused lovely was brewed to be enjoyed by May 30, so I had plenty of time when I left for Niagara Falls, New York and the Consumer's Beverages outlet on Niagara Falls Boulevard, just east of the I-90.

I've had two in the series before and both were excellent. World class, actually, like practically everything from Stone, the San Diego County brewery that is my favourite American beer maker by a country mile.

But I wasn't going to enjoy a third as there were no Enjoy By beers to be enjoyed on this day.

I suppose I could have tried other beer stores in Niagara Falls, but with a ton of IPAs and their friends here, I didn't mope long. Especially when the shelves devoted to Stone had 24 Carrot Golden Ale and NxS IPA, a couple of beers I had really - like really - wanted to buy last year but I had missed my opportunity. And here they were, in all their glory.

In the cart they went, along with a bomber of Stone's Bitter Chocolate Oatmeal Stout, part of the California brewery's 20th Anniversary Encore Series.

Sculpin! At last

By the time I got to Ballast Point Sculpin (San Diego again) I didn't need any more convincing that the trip was a success. A benchmark for all those West Coast-style IPAs fairly bursting with citrus juiciness, Sculpin was probably the first American IPA to steal my heart.

Two years was too long between Sculpins, so a six-pack found its way to the cart.

I tossed in sixes of All Day IPA from Founders Brewing of Grand Rapids, Michigan - the standard bearers for south-of-the-border Session IPAs - and Hop Hunter from iconic California craft brewer Sierra Nevada, and when I found a bomber of Handshake IPA - a collaborative brew between new business partners Green Flash and Alpine breweries (both from San Diego County - go figure) - I knew I was at my budget and headed for check-out.

It was there that I found it, sitting orphan-like on the counter and sporting a big yellow sticker that shouted "buy me, you fool, I'm only a dollar an ounce!"

So I did. $11.99 (USD) for 12 ounces of quadruple IPA IS a lot of cash for a beer, but it's not every day you come across the fabled 120 Minute IPA from Delaware's Dogfish Head Brewery. It's right up there with Heady Topper and Pliny the Younger - sort of a Holy Trinity for hopheads - and if the 18 per cent alcohol doesn't scare you, think about this: in 2009 the mad scientists at Dogfish Head dialled it BACK from 21 per cent.

A rare find

So into the cart it went. And I knew just who to share it with: Trevor, Everyone's Favourite Cellarman, and a man who would sell your mother (not his, mind) for a glass of anything from Dogfish Head.

And I was betting he hadn't tried this.

(I was so excited by my score I forgot to put any Ruination - Stone's classic IIPA - in the basket, something I don't think has ever happened before. My pal Don usually gets a couple of bottles of this 100-plus IBU cure-all, but I dropped him off a mixed six of other goodies on the way back to Oshawa. I think we're good.)

My next stop was the border - after a fill-up across the street where I paid the equivalent of 62 cents a litre (oh you crazy Americans!) - and those gun-totin' border agents, who have been giving me a hard time of late. Not about smuggling - those days are gone - but about those pesky duties on beer.

Up until a year ago my case of US beer elicited a shrug and a "have a good day" from customs, but since last July I have been getting dinged for the fees, which weren't that much anyway at about a buck a bottle. At first I chalked it up to interns calling it by the book (the inside clerks last summer were young and unarmed), but the practice continued last fall as well.

On this day, however, after the usual raised eyebrows that I would drive so far for just a few beers, I heard the magic words: "have a good day."

Sure looking that way so far.

Drinking and Shake, Shake, Shake

The fun part of these cross border beer runs always come later, when it's time to drink my prizes. And no, I didn't finish all these bad boys in one night. It took me at least four evenings with a little bit of daytime drinking thrown in just because whenever I opened my fridge there they were, staring at me.

Not a single beer disappointed.

First up was Stone's Bitter Chocolate Oatmeal Stout, and this smelled of dark chocolate, strong roasted coffee and dark ripe fruit. It tasted of bitter chocolate, more coffee, dark malts and a bit of molasses. Very rich.

Tasted like carrot cake. True story

Next in the glass was 24 Carrot Golden Ale, a beer I kicked myself for not grabbing last year when it was first released. And why not? It was supposed to taste exactly like carrot cake - I kid you not. The brainchild of amateur brewer Julie Goldenberg and the winner of a Stone-sponsored competition, this 8.5 per cent dessert beer was tweaked a bit with the help of Stone and Monkey Paw brewers and I was more than happy to see it in May of 2016.

The date code on the bottle was September 23 (Bruce Springsteen's birthday!) but clearly this ages well because drinking it was quite the experience. It poured a semi-murky yellow and smelled of chocolate, raisins and candied fruit. It tasted exactly as advertised: like carrot cake, icing and all. Amazing.

Up next was Hop Hunter, a hop oil-infused IPA from Sierra Nevada that hit the nose with a blast of pine, along with grapefruit and pineapple notes. Very smooth and easy drinking. An excellent IPA and better than expected.

The Stone/Sierra Nevada collaboration - NxS IPA - was another beer I had my eye on in 2015 but failed to find. This was a thrice-blended concoction with gin-infused and rye whisky barrels figuring in the equation as well and it smelled of citrus and spicy pine. The taste was rich and smooth, with bits of stone fruit, pine and biscuity malts. Delicious finish. Well done.

It had been a while since I enjoyed All Day IPA from Founders, which set the bar for Session IPAS when it was introduced in 2012. It's all pine with citrus and some grassy notes on the nose. Beautifully balanced.

Brewed by Friends

Handshake, a beer brewed to celebrate the merger of California brewers Green Flash and Alpine ('Brewed by Friends'), was the penultimate beer from this trip and this seven per cent IPA delivered a very citrusy aroma with pineapple and a little sweetness as well. More of the same on the tongue - I got orange in particular - with a slightly spicy, deliciously bitter finish. It's no Octopus but, damn! This is a finalist for IPA of the year. Outstanding.


And speaking of handshakes, it was nearly a week before I hooked up with Trevor at Manantler's brewery and tasting room to experience the 120 Minute IPA, an occasion where I also went behind the bar and into the brewery for the first time. To drink beer of course.

Trevor was there with my two favourite brewers (James and Chris) and when Chris left for some beer business Trevor poured out four ounce portions - in the brewery, in case there were G-Men about - for the three remaining amigos.

Not a ton of aroma but this beer goes down hot (James) with plenty of boozy warmth. A bit of sweet bitterness at the end but not a ton of it (Trevor). Doesn’t really taste like any IPA I’ve ever had but it was damn good (Me).

This is nothing like the 'Biz' handshake at all, but I just
love this picture. Lebron, not so much. Bismack!

One of those I'm-glad-I tried-it kind of beers, but at 12 bucks a bottle I won't be rushing out to re-live the experience any time soon.

While I was in the bowels of the brewery I was honoured with another lesson in the ways of the bro handshake. This one involved a traditional handshake, followed by a bro shake that morphed into a chest bump, which was followed by jazz hands (that's what I thought I was doing) and finishing with a leaping forearm smash.

The crook of the arm, actually, but I think you know what I mean.

The last part the boys called 'The Biz,' in honour of new Toronto Raptors fan favourite Bismack Biyombo, but I'm going to call the whole thing 'The Biz.'


A couple of days later I returned to the bar to try Run DHC, a beer brewed with the Durham Homebrewers Club that was tart, funky and melony smooth and also sported a label (naturally) that was identical (except for the H) to Run DMC's landmark 1986 'Raising Hell' release.

Rap legends Run DMC. I saw DMC
(no Run) with a couple of dudes from
Aerosmith at Live 8. I really am cool

I met a new bartender (the enthusiastic and beer festival-organizing Tasha) and we chatted for a few minutes about the beer before Trevor walks in and instantly demands "The Biz." In front of a lovely young woman I just met and an equally lovely trio of thirty-somethings looking for prices on kegs for a party.

And we nailed it. On the second try.

I am officially cool.

Spring, bro hugs and our brewers' best

It wasn't the worst bro hug ever attempted outside a brewery, but I'm thinking it was awfully close.

I hadn't been in Manantler's subterranean tasting room in weeks, owing mostly to being broke. For me and others who depend on Mother Nature to pay the bills, it's been a shitty winter with very little snow and really small pay cheques. Yeah, I know: cry me a river. But being broke meant I missed several beer-y events - including Manantler's One Year Anniversary Party in March - and my weekly visits (at least) were reduced to... let's just say it had been a while.

So when I popped in recently it was clear brewers Chris and James missed me terribly. Maybe it wasn't really that evident to the naked eye, but I knew the truth and I have witnesses who will swear they remembered my name. I saw Chris first, as he was outside loading the van with kegs for a kitchen party (an annual event, I'm told) and we greeted each other in the traditional manner with a handshake and a "hey, how ya doin'?"

Then Jim sauntered out, took my proffered hand and quickly turned it into a bro hug, which I just as quickly turned into an awkward moment that haunted me for days. For James, the awkwardness happened a week later when I returned - fresh from studying the proper Zen- dude way of the bro hug on the internet - to show my favourite brewmaster I could be hip and cool too.

Step-by-step instructions for a Bro Hug

The re-enactment did not go as well as I had planned, though I certainly felt better about it afterwards. James, not so much.

In my defence, I should point out that a) I am old, b) I am far less hip or cool as you might think I am and c) read the first two points again. You, loyal reader, may have known these things already but James probably did not.

In any event, we all have to make sacrifices sometimes (Jim now knows what I speak of) in order to drink great beer. In my case that meant delaying a few bills (I'm pretty sure my landlord doesn't read this blog) and increasing the limits on a credit card or two in order to take advantage of the bounty that is springtime in Ontario.

In other words, careful planning - not usually my strong suit - was required because spring is always a great time for beer. Brewers and their fans have grown tired of the dark brews of the cold winter and are all too ready to bring back sunshine in a glass: IPAs and all their hoppy friends.

(A quick glance at this blog's title and you can get an idea of how much I love this time of year. "This much," I used to tell my kids, stretching my arms out as far as I can, "is how much I love you. Plus Infinity." Like that, except for the Infinity thing. You know, children.)

It's also awards time so many of the best seasonal IPAs (and other brews) are created because brewers like shiny awards to put over the bar (some do, anyway), as well as recognition from their peers. Think Immodest, that nine per cent hop monster from Nickel Brook that serves as a reminder to me why Ryan Morrow is a genius. Think Great Lakes and their Tank Ten Series, with Robohop and Octopus Wants to Fight reminding me why Mike Lackey is also a genius.

(GLB has also teased us about the return of the legendary Karma Citra, though details have yet to be released.)

Octopus Wants to Fight IPA

But finding a way to get the silky smoothness of my favourite IPAs out of the sow's ear that is my bank account and into my glass would require strategy. My visits to Buster Rhino's would have to be limited, for example, to twice-weekly ninja strikes - sneak in, say hi to whatever beautiful bartender was on duty and enjoy a quick pint - and I would have to drastically reduce my other social engagements to ... well, never mind. I'm good there.

It was at Buster Rhino's where I found the first beer on the list, Octopus Wants to Fight from GLB. One of my favourite new releases of 2015 (probably number one on pal Don's list), this is a near-perfect IPA that simply makes me very happy. It smells divine, for starters, with mango and pineapple and pine tickling the nostrils and plenty of juicy citrus and delicious bitterness to excite the tongue. This Octopus doesn't really want to fight: it just wants to be loved and the feeling is mutual.

And if you're keeping track at home, the bartender on hand to serve me this 88 IBU pint of whoop-ass - and the early favourite for Beer of the Year - was the lovely Jessica, who didn't even ask me what I wanted. "Octopus, right?" was all she said. "Yes please," was my answer.

Next up on the list was Robohop, GLB's excellent Double IPA.

But first, some love is due here to my people at the Oshawa Centre LCBO. My contact at this store has always been Tim, who I have known for a while and has always been the dude who accommodates my special requests.

So I naturally told him a few weeks prior about Octopus Wants to Fight, Robohop and Immodest, which I knew were all about to enter the LCBO system.

The next thing I knew Robohop found its way onto the shelf and not for the first time (the first time in 2016 anyway) I was reminded how incredibly smooth this 8.5 per cent, 100 IBU hop monster is. Tons of grapefruit on the nose and so many big hops on the tongue. Grapefruit, some mango and pungent pine on the tongue and a whole lot of smoothness. Really, really drinkable.

I bought all I could carry, put it on the Mastercard and said the hell with the consequences.

Immodest IIPA

A few days after that I got a call from Mark, who shares 'Beer Guy' status (pretty sure it's a real title) with Tim, who told me to get the hell into the store because Immodest had arrived and I better buy them all because I ordered them. He didn't phrase it quite like that but he said when I wandered in later that day that he ordered Immodest on my say-so.

With almost obscene use of Citra and Simcoe hops delivering obscene amounts of flavour, that wasn't going to be a problem. Aromas of grapefruit and pineapple give way to creamy pine notes and a solid caramel malt backbone on the way down. A truly extraordinary beer and always one of my favourite double IPAs.

No worries Mark. I guarantee it will sell.

A few days later I check the LCBO website and discover Octopus Wants to Fight had arrived and I was finding it all over the GTA. But not at my local.

So I smashed open the piggy bank, set the GPS for an LCBO store in Whitby and headed west.

But my first stop was the Oshawa Centre where I found Tim, staring sadly at the spot on the shelf where Octopus was supposed to go. In its place was Limp Puppet, a session beer from GLB that, while popular, is not one of my favourites from the two-time Canadian Brewery of the Year.

"I have 12 cases of this," Mark said, seeing the "what happened?" look on my face. "The brewery mixed up the order."

"It happens," I said. "I'll see you in a few days." And off I went to Whitby to buy a 'few days' supply of Octopus Wants to Fight IPA.

With the warm weather returning, the hours at work improving and all this great beer in my fridge, it's turning out to be a great spring after all.

Now all I have to do is work on my bro hugs.

Boots Electric

The purpose of my first visit to Manantler mentioned earlier in this blog (besides establishing my un-hipness) was to enjoy a pint of Liquid Swords - the world's only known Wu Tang Clan-inspired IPA, and a reminder of the genius of Jim Gorry -  and to bring some home to my third floor aerie.

This is their go-to IPA and with plenty of lemony and orangey hops, a resiny texture on the tongue and decent bitterness, it's easy to see why.

The subsequent visit was to pick up a special beer that had just been released at the brewery: Boots Electric IPA.

The Cali-style beer was delicious, with a big aroma of tropical fruit, and flavours of mango, pineapple and stone fruit on the tongue. Syrupy, like peach juice, but without all the sweetness. But the reasons for the beer's existence were even more awesome.

Boots Electric IPA was named for the frontman for Eagles of Death Metal, the band that was performing at the Bataclan Theatre in Paris last November 13 when gunmen opened fire, killing 89 people.

It was one of three coordinated terrorist attacks in Paris that day, which left 130 people dead.

A musician himself and an avid concert-goer since he was 11, the tragedy hit Gorry hard. "It really fucked me up," he told Toronto Star music writer Ben Raynor. "For weeks I wouldn't stop talking about it and I couldn't stop emphasizing with the situation."

So after emailing the band's management and sending in a trio of label designs (from in-house artist Rachel Riordan), the brewery got the go-ahead to produce the beer, with $1 from every bottle going to the families of the victims of the attacks through the Sweet Stuff Foundation.

A worthy beer for a far more worthy cause. Well done.

Trevor Thanks Jimmy! and I thank Trevor

When I saw the message from Trevor about a gift waiting for me at Manantler's tasting room in Bowmanville I got a little excited.

Surely it meant Trevor, a huge fan of iconic U.S. brewery Dogfish Head, had returned from a pilgrimage to Delaware with a bottle of 120 Minute IPA, a nearly 20 per cent, 120 IBU, very limited release hop monster that has nearly the cachet of Pliny the Younger.

Okay, I'm kidding. If Trevor, the Cellarman at Manantler Brewery, did get his hands on one of these bottles it wouldn't be me he would be sharing it with. If he shared at all.

I figured it was the latest new release from Manantler and he wanted me to have an early crack at whatever delicious ale they had cooked up. Such a swell guy, that Trevor.

But no, that's not what it was. Instead, I was gifted a home brew (with a flip-top cap and all) from Space Taco Brewing Company (Trevor's brewery, should he ever start one) called Thanks Jimmy!

It was an IPA brewed on the 37th anniversary of President Jimmy Carter's decision to legalize home brewing in the United States. It's also a homage to James (Jimmy) Gorry, Manantler's brewmaster and Trevor's boss.

"He taught me a lot," Trevor said simply.

The beer was brewed with Canadian 2-row malts with a "little bit" of Crystal 60 malt, and he used Galena hops for bittering with Mosaic and plenty of Nelson Sauvin hops for the aromatics.

Trevor,  Bowmanville's greatest ever
Cellarman, in action

It was forced carb'ed (because Trevor was clearly in a hurry to drink it) and the result was a delicious west coast-style IPA that came with a fragrant bouquet of tropical fruit, with citrus and pine on the tongue. Really, really nice.

The alcohol count remains a mystery, however, as Trevor's hydrometer was giving him a hard time. "Between four and seven per cent," he said, somewhat unhelpfully.

Funny. I was given a glass of Manantler's Root Beer Porter (unreleased and un-carbonated at the time) the day I was at the brewery picking up my gift. My friend Sarah (aka My IPA Girl) was also there and she asked Chris, brewer, brewery President and famed music video actor, what the ABV was. "Between four and seven per cent," he answered.

Must be a brewers' inside joke.

As to whether Thanks Jimmy! will ever be in Manantler's lineup of fine beers, Trevor was unsure but hopeful.

"The recipe belongs to Space Taco Brewing but if Manantler wants to do a collaboration, I'm game!"

Thanks, Trevor!

An Epicurean surprise

Yeah, I know. Another mention of Epic Brewing of Aukland, New Zealand. I promise not to link any of the SIX previous blogs written about my adventures getting their wonderful beer, but I had to mention this.

Epic Epicurean Coffee & Fig Oatmeal Stout is in the LCBO. Or was. though there are, at the time of writing, some left in Oakville (Don! Are you listening?), Niagara Falls and some place near Ottawa.


It's unlikely we'll see more but I'm hoping I'm wrong.

In any event, if you are lucky enough to find this eight per cent bottle of black magic ("raisins and roast coffee with bitter chocolate ... smooth and rich and really, really good") in your local liquor store, buy it.

You can thank me later.

Braids, beards and Lauren, Oh My

And finally, a bit 'bout braided beards. Goatees, to be precise.

I had a delivery the other night and was met at the door by two young girls. The older girl - about 16 or so - went off to get the money while the younger sister - I'm guessing 12 or 13 - remained at the door to take the food.

And she stared at me with what appeared to be wonder in her eyes.

"That's awesome!" she finally blurted.

"Uh, thanks?" I stuttered.

Sort of like this?

"You really rock that goatee!"

What the hell does one say to that? So I thanked her again.

Then she asked me if I had kids. "Four," I tell her, adding, "And grandkids too."

"Well," she said, with excitement rising in her voice, "You must let them braid your beard!"

Maybe I should. I have just the grandkid (*cough* Lauren) for the job.

Cheers!

Gary Hogg - newspaper man, family man, prankster

One of the powerful things about Facebook and social media in general is the way it make it makes life easier when you are trying to track down old friends.

It took three of us several hours in the fall of 2014 to find our pal Gary, a J-School chum of myself and Beer Bros Don and Steve. Actually we didn't find Gary, who had achieved a good deal of success in the newspaper game since he left Humber, most notably with the North Bay Nugget, but his wife Pat instead.

No matter. The connection was made and we made up for some lost time with our long lost pal and reminisced about the good ol' days, which mostly involved drunken escapades and semi-illegal activities.

It's a wonder all four of us actually graduated.

The couch in the apartment Gary and Don shared was a favourite landing spot for me after an evening of drinking, although there was one time I didn't make it that far.

It was the night Miller Beer officially introduced their products in Canada and Steve, through his internship at some Rogers magazine, had scored us six passes to the media event to celebrate this momentous occasion. There was a small hitch in our plans, however: we showed up the night before for the corporate schmoozefest, which was open only to suits and friends with suits.

Which wasn't us.

No worries though. We just let Steve, our best schmoozer and, at 6'7" an intimidating one at that, do the talking for us and we were eventually allowed entry.

The 'we' would be Gary, Don, Steve and myself, as well as other J-School pals Tony and I think Keith, though it could have been Wayne. And we walked in to a free Texas BBQ, Joe Theismann as the motivational speaker and the very beautiful Louise Mandrell (of the Mandrell sisters) on the stage.

And free beer. All night long.

Anyway, we had a great time drinking copious amounts of free beer (did  I say it was free?) and we capped off the evening by stealing a six-foot Miller sign and taking it onto the subway and eventually back to Gary and Don's pad.

The reason I didn't make it to the couch? I did say free beer, right? Anyway, I woke up on the linoleum floor of the bathroom with the worst hangover of my life. Lucky Mom and Dad's place was only a half-hour walk away.

Good times. Good times.

Our re-connection on social media was some 18 months ago and we did some catching up at the time. Gary, after a long career as an editor, had gravitated to sales and moved to the Ottawa area.

Gary Hogg. August 4, 1961-February 12, 2016

Gary was smart as a whip but he had a notorious dry wit - some might have called him sarcastic; perhaps cranky - and I was the butt of his pranks more times than I can remember. I told him I couldn't get my head around the fact he was now in sales.

"Don't you have to like people for that? I asked him. "Obviously," he countered, "you don't need friends to be in sales."

Well, you have us, Gary. Had us, anyway.

We hadn't heard from Gary for a while until Pat contacted Don and told him Gary died three weeks ago. He had been in and out of hospital for several months until suffering a massive heart attack. He was 54.

Rest In Peace, Gary. You will be missed.

Spring and the circle of life

The snow is still on the ground but spring is in the air here in Southern Ontario.

Just ask the birds.

Our resident cardinal has been singing for weeks now in the hopes a lady friend is within earshot. Good luck to him. I've tried that and it has never worked.

I have even seen woodpeckers and nuthatches from my balcony hunting for food and staking out
nesting sites.

Love at first sight

I  wouldn't have thought grubs and other tree-dwelling bugs would be up and about already but I'm going to go out on a limb (you see what I did there?) and assume Mother Nature - and  the birds - know more about this stuff than I do.

All this early season activity by the birds has a three-fold purpose: find a mate, make some babies and raise a family.

Real circle of life stuff and right outside my balcony to boot.

Cheers!

Three Epic (drinking) evenings in Oshawa

I thought about it for only a moment before shaking my head at my own foolishness.

There may have been eight different beers in my box of fun from Down Under but I wasn't fooling anyone. There was always only going to be one beer that would be chosen first.

It was Hop Zombie time.

Orange and grapefruit bouquet with a floral aroma as well. Resiny and chewy citrus on the tongue, not unlike orange marmalade, with lots of tropical fruit, pepper and sweet malts. If I could quibble I would say the carbonation wasn't as prominent as I hoped, but as it had just arrived from a long voyage a little jet lag could be expected. Outstanding and world class beer.

Yeah, it was worth all the fuss.

After all the time, energy, expense and words expended in the name of this beer - this is the sixth blog written about it, fer crying out loud - it could be no other brew that would be first out of the box. The real question was what do I drink next?

I received my FedEx package on a Monday afternoon but because of work and family commitments it would be that evening before I got to my treasures - nine hop bombs from Epic Brewing (Auckland, NZ), courtesy of the Glorious Imp and the Divine Miss Ellie. With a 4 am wake-up call for work I had just a couple of hours of drinking ahead of me.

I wasn't going to drink them all in one sitting so a careful strategy was in order.

It was lucky then that I had Beer Bros Steve and Don to help me with my choices. "Drink ALL the beers," shouted Steve all the way from Wellington, N.Z.  "No! Save the big guys for tomorrow," cautioned Don from much closer Burlington, Ontario.

The legend that is Hop Zombie

Yeah, I know. Don being a voice of reason when it came to alcohol consumption was a new one on me, too.

So I made the decision to not listen to that big bully Steve and spread out my drinking over three magical evenings. After all, six of the nine bottles topped eight per cent alcohol, highlighted by Four Horsemen of the Hopocalypse and its massive 14 per cent ABV.

Steve, by the way, has had all the beers in the Epic fun box and seemed slightly offended that I felt the need to ask him. "I make sure to try all of Epic's offerings," he said rather huffily, adding that he enjoyed "at least one of each of them" at the last West Coast IPA Challenge at the Malthouse, Wellington's premier craft beer bar.

He wasn't too butt-hurt, however, as he stayed to offer encouragement from half-way 'round the world as I moved on from Hop Zombie to No Agenda, a most  excellent 7.5 per cent Brown Ale, a style I'm slowly coming around on.

Smells of brown sugar and pine and tastes of toffee malts and citrus with some sort of piney/grassy/spicy thing going on as well. Tough one to figure out but I liked it a lot.

Then it was on to the only 'session' beer in the mix: Epic Awakening, a 5.2 per cent Pilsner.

Mild lemony and peppery  aroma. Light and spicy on the tongue with citrus and a bit of pineapple and lime, with some sweetness. Hoppy. Good.

Steve is shouting from the South Pacific again, demanding that I have the Four Horsemen next, oblivious to the fact that I have to be up for work in four or five hours. I ignored him and drank my last bottle of The Dark Prince, a Black IPA from my local brewery Manantler in Bowmanville.

A dark and delicious nightcap that WASN'T 14 per cent alcohol.

Evening #2: When the big guns came out

After I  dropped off my son at his Mom's the next night I went right to the Four Horsemen of the Hopocalypse, a Triple IPA that is the brainchild of four of New Zealand's best brewers: Our man Luke (The Glorious Imp) Nicholas of Epic; Kelly Ryan of Fork & Brewer; Joseph Wood of Liberty; and Steve Plowman of Hallertau.

It's a big, bodacious beer at 14 per cent alcohol and it turned out to be the real prize in the box.

It has a fluffy head that seems to last forever and a powerful resiny aroma of pine, orange pulp, caramel malt and some sort of dark fruit. All those sweet malts give it a serious boozy kick  that threaten to overwhelm the massive load of hops. But they don't and the result is rich and thick and more than a little dangerous.

Four Horsemen IIIPA

Next up was Epic Imperium,  a nine per cent Imperial Stout, a beer that scored a very good 96 on Rate Beer but just a 53 for style, which makes zero sense to me, but then there are plenty of examples of Rate Beer scores that seem illogical at best.

Bitter chocolate, plums of various ages and a bit of coffee on the nose. Big taste of roasted malts with more bitter chocolate and dark fruits. Tasty.

My review - I  was the 53rd person to rate the beer - didn't affect the overall score but I did manage to bump up the style points from 53 to 55. There. I did my part.

The last beer of the night was The Observer, an Old Ale that checked in at a substantial 9.7 per cent ABV.

Red wine and bitter chocolate aroma. Lots of different dark fruit on the palate with rum and raisin, coffee and more chocolate. Strong malt base but not overpowering as the alcohol is well hidden. Epically good.

The Observer is billed as a 'Timeless Ale," which was true only for the beer. For me, it was time for bed.

The Pacific IPA Challenge and the end of the Epics

I kicked off the third and final installment in Drinking Epic Beers with a Pacific IPA Challenge, matching a Fat Tug from Driftwood Brewery of Victoria, B.C. (a beer I have fallen head-over-heels in love with since its introduction to Ontario a few months ago) against Armageddon, Epic's award-winning 6.66 per cent IPA that was so named by award-winning New Zealand beer writer and cricket fan Neil Miller.

Epic Armageddon

(Neil is also single-handily responsible for raising the profile of Canadian rock band Nickelback among the Australian cricket set with but a simple sign, but that's another story.)

I drank them simultaneously with the smaller (500 ml) Armageddon bottle the first to be emptied.

Lots of pine and tropical fruit on the nose. More citrus, pine, resin and bit of pineapple on the palate. Pleasingly bitter.

Fat Tug, a wee bit stronger at seven per cent, was next on the scorecard.

Huge aroma of grapefruit and mango and other tropical fruit. Big, resiny citrus hops on the tongue with more tropical fruit and biscuity malts. Deliciously bitter. An impressive beer.

The winner? I think I'll be diplomatic here as both were outstanding. It's a tie, damn it!

I had one more Imperial Stout in my Epic grab bag and the Epicurean Coffee & Fig Oatmeal Stout  (eight per cent ABV) was up next.

I got raisins and roast coffee with bitter chocolate on the nose. More of that on the tongue - especially the coffee, with sweet malts. Been a while since I ate a fig but this sure didn't taste like the fig newtons I used to know. It was, however, smooth and rich and really, really good.

Neil  and his friend Anika broke the
Twitterverse with this sign

There was just one beer left now: the second Hop Zombie. 



And then it was gone, proving it is true what they say: You can't have your Hop Zombies and drink them too.

I didn't know what else I could say about this 
amazing beer, so I did the next best thing: I stole someone else's review, namely that of Mr. Miller, who has probably consumed more Hop Zombies that anyone on the planet. Allegedly.


Take it away, Neil...

"This Imperial India Pale Ale has notes of ... who am I kidding? You get between me and a tap of this at Malthouse and I will trample you like a mummy hippo protecting her children."

I couldn't have said it better.